The Room Novelization

Oh hi, Tommy Wiseau

2011-04-18T07:17:00.000-07:00

I had an opportunity to 'meet' Tommy Wiseau over the weekend at a live screening here in Ottawa, Canada at the Mayfair theater. Meeting meaning getting my picture with him and asking him a question. I bet you can guess what I asked about!

ME: Hi. Have you heard of The Room Novelization?

TOMMY: What do you mean by that?

ME: It's...someone took the whole movie and turned it into a novel.

TOMMY: You know what people do all kinds of this stuff, keep in mind I have a book that is six-hundred pages. We are actually publishing this year or next year, we are working with publisher right now.

(CHEERS)

TOMMY: It's a gift! Oh, that's a good question actually. I don't know about it. I don't have time to read it all, some of this stuff. But let me inform you guys, a lot of this stuff are people using The Room for this and that, and you know it's fun to...it's a compliment for me. You know? Because this is my work. But speaking about The Room, keep in mind this is my...did I say fifty?...almost twenty years of my work. It's not like...people say 'oh happened by accident' you know? Remember guys, never happened by accident. Move on, next one.

Me, Tommy Wiseau, my girlfriend and Greg Sestero.

Epilogue

2010-12-31T23:00:00.000-08:00

Lisa and Mark burst into the bedroom, the sound of the gunshot alerting them to action. Immediately Mark realized the bullet's target.

Johnny, his best friend, was sprawled dead on the floor, a bloody mess where his head should be.

He ran over and grabbed on to him, shaking him.

"Wake up Johnny! Come on!" he screamed.

Lisa began to cry.

"Is he dead?" she choked out. She let his lifeless hand fall from hers and shook in her shock and her grief and her guilt. "My god! Mark, is he dead!"

Mark, not being a medical doctor, had no way of knowing if a gunshot wound to the head was fatal. So he felt for a pulse.

His hands emerged covered in blood.

And there was no pulse.

"Yes, he's dead." Mark pushed out though tears. "Yes he's dead!"

"Oh my god!" Lisa cried.

Mark leaned in and kissed his late friend on his forehead.

Lisa stopped crying for just a moment, then looked at Johnny's corpse and broke out again. "Oh my god.." she wailed.

Mark put a comforting hand around her.

"I lost him, but I still have you right?" Lisa pleaded. "Right?"

Mark pushed her away from him.

"You don't have me!" he spat at her. "You'll never have me!"

Lisa cried out again.

"You killed him."

"Mark we're free to be together. I love you."

Mark could only shake his head at this muderous bitch.

"I love you." she repeated, reaching out for his arm.

He shoved her hands away again. "Tramp. You killed him. You're the cause of all of this. I don't love you."

Lisa sat and cried.

"Get out of my life you bitch!" Mark screamed at her, thrusting his arm to the door.

"What's happening!" It was Denny, charging his way into the room, crying.

"Don't look Denny!" Mark tried to grab onto the boy, but he'd seen enough.

"Johnny's dead!" he cried. Mark and Lisa had to hold him back as he tried to push his way over to the corpse. "Wake up Johnny, please! Please! It's not right!" He clutched at Johnny's chest. "It's not right!"

"Denny, he's in a better place!" Lisa tried to comfort, but nothing could comfort Denny now. Nothing could comfort any of them.

"Leave us!" Denny shouted, turning to look at the both of them, "Both of you leave."

"As far as I'm concerned, you can drop off the earth." Mark said, getting up and walking towards the door, "That's a promise."

"Just leave! Both of you!" Denny cried.

"Leave him all right!" Mark called after Lisa, who was still kneeling beside Johnny's body. "Let him be with him!"

"Why Johnny? Why!" Denny bawled. "Johnny why! Why?"

Mark and Lisa stopped at the top of the stairs and turned to one another. They couldn't leave Denny. Not like this.

They walked back to him and Lisa cradled him in her arms.

Sirens wailed in the night as they wept. Distant screams rang out, calling for a help that was now too late. They wept and screamed for they knew that, because they had not loved each other, the world would now be a worst place.

And with that, Johnny, best friend, future husband and future son-in-law, father figure and favorite customer...

...was gone.

Chapter 20

2010-12-31T17:58:00.000-08:00

The party filed out and the night turned to day. Claudette, who stayed behind to console her daughter, ascended the spiral staircase up to Johnny and Lisa's bedroom. Lisa was sitting on the couch and Johnny was locked inside the bathroom like a thirteen-year old.

"I cleaned up the kitchen, sweetheart." Claudette said, "so you don't have to worry about that."

Lisa stood up.

"He still won't come out of the bathroom."

"Sweetheart he's upset! Now Johnny is a sensible man. He will come out, you will discuss this, everything is going to be OK." Claudette had had multiple marriages, so she knew how these sort of adultery-with-your-husband's-best-friend scenarios turned out.

"I just think I should be alone with him right now." Lisa said, concerned for Johnny even though she doesn't love him anymore.

"I understand sweetheart. I'm going to go home now." Claudette kissed her daughter and poked her on the nose. "Bye bye. You call me if you need me."

"I will, thanks Mom."

"Hm hm" Claudette said and with that was gone down the spiral staircase.

Lisa turned towards the bathroom door. Behind it lay a shattered, broken man. Lisa approached the door and tried the knob. No use. Still locked. She slammed her opened palm against the wood and marched off to the center of the room where she stood with her arms folded.

"You can come out now Johnny. She's gone."

"In a few minutes bitch." Came Johnny's reply through the door.

"Who are you calling a bitch?" Lisa asked.

"You and your stupid mother."

Lisa scowled and turned towards the phone, grabbed it and dialed. After a few rings, a familiar voice came on the line.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Mark? I need to talk to you."

Mark was confused. What could she possibly have to talk to him about?

"What's going on?"

"Don't worry about Johnny. He's just being a big baby. You know...I love you very much."

Johnny held his ear against the bathroom door, straining to hear his future wife.

"I love you." he could make out Lisa say.

"Why don't you ditch this creep, I don't like him anymore." Mark said, disgust boiling in his voice.

"I know, he's not worth it. Why don't I come up there and be with you?"

"Sure baby, come on up." Mark seduced. "I want your body."

"You got it. I'm on my way. Bye." She said just loud enough for Johnny to hear.

"Bye." Mark whispered.

Johnny could listen idly no longer. He burst out of the bathroom.

"Who were you talking to?" he asked accusingly.

"Nobody."

"We'll see about that!" Johnny said, walking out of the room. Lisa went about packing her things.

Moments later, Johnny returned.

And he had a tape.

He shook it in his hand at Lisa and she stopped dead in her tracks. She had a terrible feeling about what might be on it. Had he recorded everything?

Johnny sat on the bed and pulled a tape player from the bedside drawer.

"We'll see about that." he repeated, popped the tape in and pressed play.

"Hello?" came Mark's voice, exactly as it had sounded seconds earlier.

"Hi, Mark? I need to talk to you." echoed Lisa's recorded voice of moment's ago.

Lisa grabbed for the recorder, but Johnny pulled it away.

"What's going on?"

"Don't worry about Johnny, he's just being a big baby."

Lisa took a last look at Johnny and then went back to sorting her clothes.

Johnny let the tape play on.

"You know, I love you very much. You're the sparkle of my life. I love you."

Lisa dropped another pair of underwear into her bag and Johnny grabbed her arm, stopping the tape.

"You little tramp! How could you do this to me!" He screamed. "I gave you seven years of my life! And you betrayed me. Let's see what else we have on this tape..."

Johnny reached for the play button.

"No!" Lisa ordered, "Stop. You little prick. I put up with you for seven years. You think you're an angel. You're just like everybody."

"I treat you like a princess and you stab me in the back. I love you and I did anything for you to just please you and now you betrayed me. How could you love him!" Johnny wailed.

And he pressed play.

"Why don't you ditch this creep, I don't like him anymore." Mark said, disgust boiling in his voice over the tape.

"I know he's not worth it. Why don't I come up there and be with you?"

Lisa looked down at the tape with smug approval.

"Sure baby, come on up. I want your body."

"You got it."

And with that Johnny exploded, throwing the recorder and smashing it against the wall.

He fell back onto the bed.

"Everybody betrayed me. I don't have a friend in the world." he muttered to himself.

"I'm leaving you Johnny." Lisa said. And true to her word, she was out of the room in moments.

Johnny stood and walked over to the railing.

"Get out. Get out. Get out of my life!" he screamed after her.

And then he growled and fell back on the bed.

* * *

Betrayl surged through every bone in Johnny's muscular body. He stampeded down the spiral stairs, each step compounding his anger. He fell hard onto the couch.

"Ahhhh!" he cried out. "Why Lisa! Why! Why!"

Like a hailstorm, memories struck him, one after another after another. Getting drunk with Lisa, his tie tied around her head.

He screamed.

Dancing with her in the dark.

Her sweet kiss.

He screamed again, tears cut their way across his cheek.

Making love to her and the rose pedals and the way she looked in that red dress...

"You bitch!" Johnny stood, throwing the fruit out of the bowls. Kicking over the lamp, boxes, destroying all the glasses and candles and painting on his mantle.

With all the might his anger would grant him, he picked up the television and with one swift blow, threw it out the window.

"You bitch!" he spat out. "You bitch!"

It smashed against the pavement.

"Screw the whole world!"

He brought his carnage up the stairs, destroying Lisa's keepsakes on her dresser, then destroying the dresser itself, pulling out each shelf individually and sprawling it's contents across the floor. Then he pushed the whole thing over.

He grabbed the comforter off the bed. The pillows. The sheets. And he smashed them all to the floor in a heap before throwing himself on the bare mattress.

He flashed to him and Lisa. Making love there.

He stood up once more, knocking over a vase and a candle ornament. He saw his reflection in the mirror, and couldn't stand to look upon himself.

He threw a rock at it and the reflection shattered, broken as he himself was.

Finally, Johnny collapsed on the floor. Amongst the sheets, something caught his eye.

Lisa's red dress. The one he had bought for her all those weeks ago.

He felt it. Let it fall through his fingers and in his mind's eye he could see her once again. Twirling in it in all her beauty.

He took it to his nose and breathed in. Her scent still stuck to it. It aroused Johnny, so he shoved the dress into his crotch and thrust, each pelvic spasm a reminder of the beautiful love they once shared.

She was his future wife. No more.

"You tramp..." he spoke through moans.

He tore at the dress, ripping it to shreds, each shred a reminder now not of her beauty, but of her deceit.

He saw her dancing with Mark, and he tore a piece of the dress.

"I put up with you..." Her voice echoed in his mind, and he tore another piece.

He discarded the dress and cried out.

He reached for a box. Opened it and held its contents.

Cold. Hard. Steel.

"Why, why is this happening to me! Why!"

He looked at the gun in his hands.

"It's over."

He cocked the gun.

"God. Forgive me."

Johnny shoved the barrel in his mouth.

"Everything will be all right..." Lisa's voice echoed one last time. "Goodnight Johnny."

And he pulled the trigger.

Chapter 19

2010-12-30T08:30:00.001-08:00

Outside, the San Francisco skyline shined brightly into the night. Inside, the party went on into the night. Friends sipped champagne and laughed and chatted amongst themselves, sharing old stories of adultery and violence against women. The latest, hippest party music played. Johnny and Claudette caught up on the couch.

"You know that's like the third time you've told me that joke tonight!" Lisa said to a friend. Mark watched her, amazed once again at her beauty. She noticed him staring and returned his gaze. He looked away, feigning embarrassment.

And Johnny observed the exchange. After contemplating it for a moment, he returned to his conversation with Claudette.

Michelle and Mike were mingling with another couple, a brunette and her red-headed boyfriend. They laughed and the other couple left to another conversation. Mike was holding a piece of cake, chocolate cake, and he presented it to Michelle with a sly grin stretched across his face. Michelle laughed seductively, grabbed a piece and fed it to Mike. He lapped it up, sucking on her finger, then grabbed a piece himself. He was about to feed it to Michelle when Lisa came walking up, so he popped in his own mouth. Lisa and Michelle shared a knowing laugh.

"Hey, everybody!" Lisa announced to the party, "Let's go outside for some fresh air!"

Everyone at the party thought this was a terrific idea, and like at all adult parties, they did whatever the party leader told them to. Everyone shuffled out the back door onto the balcony.

Everyone, but Mark and Lisa.

Mark was about to exit when Lisa closed the door.

"Wait." she said. "I have something I want to show you."

Mark smiled an expecting smile. "Oh really?"

She led him to the couch. He sat down first and she draped her legs on his lap.

"So uh," Mark grunted, "what do you want to show me?"

"It's a surprise." Lisa said, putting down her glass.

She grabbed his neck and pulled him forward, and they locked into a passionate kiss.

Mark suddenly came to his senses.

"What are you doing? I mean are you crazy? Everybody's here!"

"No they're not." she said, giggling, "they're all outside!"

"You devil! You planned this all along!"

She smiled and kissed him.

"What's going on here!" said some guy who just entered the room.

Mark and Lisa quickly separated and stood.

"Why are you doing this!" exclaimed the guy.

Lisa took Mark into her arms. "I love him."

"I don't believe it!" the guy said.

Anger boiled inside of Mark.

"You don't understand anything, man," he said, "Leave your stupid comments in your pocket!"

And with that stunningly appropriate analogy he stormed off outside, back into the party.

The guy closed in on Lisa.

"Do you understand what you're doing? You're going to destroy Johnny! He's very sensitive."

Lisa simply shook her head. "I don't care." she said, "I'm in love with Mark."

"How could you do this!?" The guy exploded in confusion and anger. "You make me sick!"

The door swung open and Michelle and Johnny entered.

"Hey!" Michelle greeted.

"Thank you honey this is a beautiful party." Johnny said, "You invited all my friends. Good thinking!" Many of Johnny's parties in the home country were with few to none of his friends, and on one particular occasion, only enemies. So this was a great surprise for him.

"You're welcome. You know how much I love you." she lied through a smile.

"I do." Johnny said, and laughed. He had his arm around Michelle for some reason.

The guy stared at Lisa with barely disguised disgust.

For a while all four of them stared at each other uncomfortably.

"You know, it's getting pretty hot in here. Why don't we go back outside?" Lisa suggested.

Johnny agreed and opened the door. Everyone filed out but for Johnny, who stayed a moment. Thinking. Was something wrong?

San Francisco continued to be a beautiful city at night, and the party continued on the balcony. Lisa walked right past Johnny, not making eye contact and disappearing into the crowd. Johnny took that as his signal. He walked over to a place of prominence, waved at a passing friend then spoke up.

"Hey everybody! I have an announcement to make!" The party silenced and listened. "We are expecting!"

The party erupted into applause. Everyone came up to congratulate the father to be.

But Michelle and that guy from before weren't so pleased. They approached their friend. "Lisa, I have to talk to you." Michelle said, leading her towards a table.

"You have got to be honest with Johnny!" Michelle said.

"I agree with that." Interjected that guy.

"Look, I'm going to tell him, OK? I just, I don't want to ruin his...birthday."

"When is the baby due?" That guy said, finally addressing the elephant in the room.

Lisa hesitated a moment, nervously pulling on her fingers. "There is no baby."

"What!?" They both exclaimed.

"What, what are you talking about?" That guy said.

Lisa sat down and her friends followed suit.

"I told him that to make it interesting." Lisa confessed.

Michelle and that guy looked at each other with utter disbelief.

"We're probably going to have a baby eventually anyway!"

Michelle sighed.

"Lisa are you feeling OK?" she said, putting her hand to her forward to feel for a fever. "Because this is just getting worse and worse!"

Lisa took a sip of her champagne.

"I feel like I'm sitting on an atomic bomb waiting for it to go off!" That guy shared Mark's skill of analogy.

"Me too! There's no simple solution to all this." Michelle agreed.

"Don't worry! You guys worry entirely too much about me!"

"Lisa, we're not worried about you. We're worried about Johnny." Michelle said, "You don't understand the psychological impact of what you're doing here! You're hurting yourself, you're...you're hurting our friendship."

"I am not responsible for Johnny. I'm through with that!"

Michelle rolled her eyes. This was the one-hundreth time Lisa had told some variation of this exact speech.

"I'm changing. I have the right don't I. People are changing all the time. I have to think about my future! What's it to you?"

That guy grabbed on to Lisa's hand.

"This is going to pull us all down." he said, "It's going to shake up our group of friends! It's going to destroy our friendship Lisa. I don't think Mark really loves you."

With the mention of Mark's name Lisa stood and crossed her arms.

"I don't want to talk about it!" she said.

Michelle sighed. "Lisa you're going to have to face it. I for one am going to have a hard time forgiving you if you don't."

Lisa ignored Michelle and turned to the rest of the party.

"Hey everybody! Let's go inside and eat some cake!"

"That's a good idea!" someone at the party exclaimed, and everyone made their way inside.

Michelle rested her head in her hand "I don't understand you Lisa." she said to no one.

Inside, the red-headed man took a nice big bite of cake. "Lisa looks hot tonight." he observed, and his girlfriend shot him a look.

Johnny, who was still catching up with Claudette, gave her a quick kiss on the cheek.

Meanwhile, Mark and Lisa were having words.

"Come on, who's baby is it?" Mark said pointedly. "Is it mine?"

"No of course not!" she said, turning on her heel and walking away.

Mark grabbed her arm and yanked her back.

"Come on how can you be sure Lisa?"

"Stop asking me stupid questions!"

"Who the hell do you think you are?"

"Just shut up!" she yelled and slapped him across the face.

Johnny shot up from his seat.

"What are you doing?! What's going on here!" he said, holding on to Lisa.

"You really don't know do you?" Mark said.

Johnny pushed Mark. "Maybe I know more than you think I do Mark!"

"You don't know shit, all right?"

"What do you want from me huh!?" Johnny said, and he threw Mark into a table, breaking glass. Mark pushed himself back up, then ran at Johnny wildly, his hands reaching for Johnny's throat. Everyone grabbed on and pulled them apart.

"Stop it!" Lisa yelled.

"All right!" Johnny said, throwing up his hands. "OK folks, everything is fine. Fight is over. I'm sorry Mark." He reached out a hand.

Mark took it and shook.

"Yeah, you too."

"Lisa, could you clean up here please." Johnny said. When your future wife sleeps with your best friend, the least she can do is clean up after you get into a fight with him about it.

Johnny went to the kitchen to cool off. Mark sat and thought.

* * *

The city skyline was beautiful at night.

* * *

A few hours past and the fight was forgotten, and before long Lisa and Mark were dancing intimately in front of everyone. Mark kissed Lisa's cheek softly as they swayed.

Johnny saw what was happening and approached Lisa, putting a hand on her shoulder.

"What are you doing?" he asked, concerned.

"None of your business." she spat back.

"You're my future wife, what are you doing Lisa?"

The party went silent.

"Leave her alone, man. She doesn't want to talk to you." Mark said.

Johnny swatted Mark away from his future wife. "Since when do you give me orders!"

"Since she changed her mind about you!"

Johnny smiled sarcastically.

"Wake up man!" Mark yelled, "What planet are you on!"

"I think you should leave right now, Mark." Johnny said calmly.

Lisa interjected. "Don't spoil it, we were just having fun."

"Don't worry about it man." Mark said, and he reached a comforting hand out to Johnny's shoulder.

Johnny swatted his hand away. "Don't touch me motherfucker! Get out!"

Mark charged at Johnny and the two locked in combat.

"Stop it! Stop it!" Lisa cried out.

"Leave her alone!" Johnny pushed Mark and Mark hit the wall, falling on his ass.

"You two are acting like children." Lisa said.

Mark pushed himself up and walked toward Johnny. "Son of a bitch!"

"You're going to ruin the party!" Lisa said.

"If you keep your girl satisfied she wouldn't come to me!"

Johnny tore off his jacket. "Get out of my house!" he lunged at Mark and limbs started to fly as they fought. "I kill you! I break every bone in your body!"

"Stop it!" Lisa screeched.

That guy and Mike tore the best friends apart.

"I kill you you bastard!" Johnny said.

"You couldn't kill me if you tried!"

"You betrayed me! You're not good! You're just a chicken!" And then Johnny started chirping. "Cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep!"

Mark exploded back and Johnny and they came to blows. Quickly, their friends separated them.

"It's over!" one of them yelled out.

"Shut up!"

"Cool it!" That guy said.

"Shut up!"

"It's over!"

"It's not over! Everybody betrayed me. I'm fed up with this world!" Johnny threw his hands up and made his way up the stairs.

Despite Lisa's best efforts, Johnny's birthday party was ruined.

Chapter 18

2010-12-10T17:40:00.000-08:00

Night came and went and then it was day time again. Lisa was sitting, drinking coffee in the living room when Johnny came down the stairs, eating a bagel.

"Bye Lisa!" he said between bites, kissing her on the cheek.

Lisa watched him go with cold, sad eyes. When was she going to tell him? Mark was, after all, his best friend.

Johnny opened the door to reveal Claudette, who was waiting outside.

"Oh, hi Claudette!" Johnny exclaimed and hugged his future-mother-in-law.

"Oh!" she greeted.

"Bye!" Johnny said, and went off to work.

"Bye!" Claudette waved after him, then walked over to where Lisa was sitting.

"Hi, Mom." Lisa said, "how are you?"

"I'm okay! How are you?" Claudette said, sitting on the couch adjacent to Lisa.

"I'm fixing the apartment for Johnny's birthday, but I'm really not into it." Lisa wined.

"Oh, why not?"

"Because I'm in love with Mark, not Johnny." Lisa said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world, and in many ways it was as she had had this identical conversation with her mother at least a dozen times over the past few weeks. "And here I am, planning his party."

Claudette rolled her eyes. Here we go again.

"It's not right, Lisa! I still think you should marry Johnny! Now you can't live on love. You need financial security." She explained, pointing her finger. Lisa, as a woman, had no financial security without Johnny, who was a man.

"But I'm not happy!" Lisa shot back.

Claudette simply shook her head again. As if happiness mattered for her daughter.

"And he still thinks I'm going to marry him next month. He's a fool." Lisa put down her mug and stood up, grabbing the broom and starting to sweep.

"You expect to be happy? I haven't been happy since I married my first husband! I didn't even want to marry your father." Claudette spat out.

Lisa gripped the broom hard. "You never told me that!"

"It's true. All men are assholes! Men and women use and abuse each other all the time. There's nothing wrong with it!" Claudette spouted, "Marriage has nothing to do with love!"

Lisa didn't want to fight with her mother anymore. She was tired enough from two straight days of sweeping.

"Johnny's OK, I suppose." she said. "Actually, I have him wrapped around my little finger."

"You should be happy then!" Claudette implored. If there's one lesson she'd always tried to ingrain in her daughter it's that she should be happy manipulating men into horrible situations.

"But I don't love him!" Lisa yelled again. How many times did she have to say it before anyone would understand!

"Oh!" Claudette sighed, standing up and facing her daughter. "Don't throw your life away just because you don't love him! That's ridiculous! You need to grow up and you need to listen to me!"

Lisa just stared at her mother. She was done with this.

"OK, Mom. I'll see you at the party."

Claudette sighed and rolled her eyes and sighed again and then rolled her eyes again. And then she kissed her finger and put that finger to Lisa's nose. Lisa crinkled her face all cute like.

"Bye bye my precious." she said, and left the apartment.

Lisa swept.

* * *

As Johnny walked home for what would be the final time, he couldn't help but realize once again that San Francisco was a beautiful city. One of the most beautiful cities he had ever seen. From the beautiful Golden Gate bridge, to all the beautiful buildings, to all the townhouses and all the beautiful streets with beautiful street cars. It was the magic hour now, twilight, and the city just glowed. He took the scenic route today, past the Disney Store and the cathedral and before he knew it he was home.

He opened the door.

Everything was strangely dark.
And then the lights flicked on.

"Surprise!"

It was everyone! Lisa, Denny, Michelle and her boyfriend Mike, Johnny's best friend Mark and Lisa's Mom Claudette. Some random other best friends of Johnny's. Everyone.

Johnny smiled.

Lisa ran forward and touched his arm. Everyone broke out into the Birthday Song. As they sang, Johnny blushed.

"Oh wow!" he said as they chanted his name, "Wow, all right, thank you, thank you! All right, ha ha!"

They finished and Johnny grabbed a glass of champagne, toasting everyone around him.

"Hey thank you!" he said, "Thanks for coming! Thanks a lot again! Thank you!"

He tilted his glass towards Denny. "You want to drink this one?" he asked.

Denny looked at Johnny confused. Wasn't Johnny a recovering alcoholic? And wasn't Denny a recovering drug abuser? Whatever. It was a time for celebration.

"Yeah later!" Johnny said. "Later?" Denny asked. "Yes! Later!" Johnny said again and took a sip.

Words could not express how happy Johnny was to be like this, to be celebrating after everything that had happened. To be celebrating with all his friends, all of the men, women and children he loved so dearly. For now, for right now, he loved the whole world.

But all of that, was about to change.

Chapter 17

2010-12-08T11:00:00.000-08:00

Lisa was sweeping up some stuff when the doorbell rang. Ding-dong! It was the doorbell.
"Who is it?" she called out even though she had more than good idea who it was.

"Delivery man!" Mark's handsome voice called out.

She stood there, staring at the door. She'd lead him on just a little bit more...

"It's me Lisa!" said Mark, "Come on! Open up!"

Lisa smiled. "Come on in."

Mark opened the door, which wasn't locked. Apparently Mark, like vampires, always requires an invitation before he can enter a house.

"Hey Mark." Lisa purred.

Mark walked past her, gently smelling her perfume. It was delicious.
He looked around the house. Looking clean.

"Wow, so uh. You gonna be ready?" he asked.

"How do you mean that?" Lisa said with a twinkle of sex in her eye, "I'm always ready. For you."

Mark smiled a handsome smile. "I mean for the party."

"We have plenty of time...all I have to do is put on my 'party dress,'" she said, putting the broom to the side and slowly lifting up her red shirt, revealing the rolls of sexy-flab hidden underneath. "Come on."

"Woah, woah, wait? What are you doing?" Once again, despite sleeping with her repeatedly for the past month, Mark was caught completely off guard by Lisa's attempts at seduction. That's what he loved about her. Her unpredictability.

"Nothing." she said, grabbing his shirt and pulling it up over his stomach and above his head. She pushed him onto the couch and kissed his handsome lips.

"You're so beautiful." Mark moaned.

They kissed gently, and just as Lisa reached for Mark's throbbing crotch, a knocking came at the door. Knock-knock-knock-knock! It was the door.

Mark and Lisa jumped to action, each quickly pulling on their shirts.

"Hurry up, I have to open the door." Lisa said.

"Wait! Hang on, hang on." Mark was having trouble with his sleeves.

Lisa pulled down her shirt, and before Mark could finish pulling on his she called out, "Come on in, its open!"

Michelle opened the door to see Mark's head go through the neck hole of his sweater. She smiled a big, knowing smile. "Uh, hi!" she exclaimed, and entered. "I brought the stuff." She was holding a bag of party-stuff.

"I knew I could count on you." Lisa said.

The girls giggled. Haha! Adultery!

"Hi, Mark!" Michelle said, turning her attention to the handsome man, "XYZ"

"What are you talking about?"

"Examine your zipper!" Michelle giggled out.

Lisa burst out into another fit of laughs.

Mark shook his head and zipped that Z right on up.

"You guys are too much!" Michelle laughed. "So, what can I do to help?"

Everyone smiled at each other and laughed and laughed. There is nothing funnier then walking in on your best friend cheating on her future-husband with his best friend.

"I gotta go." Mark said, then turned towards the door and left. Michelle and Lisa took a seat on the couch, still giggling.

"Wanna help me move the coffee table?" Lisa asked.

"Okay."

And so they got off the couch.

"What was he doing here?" Michelle asked, all though she had more than good idea on what he was doing here.

"Ah...he just brought by some take out." Lisa said. They walked over to the coffee table and each took a side. It was an extremely heavy, dense coffee table and required both of them to shove it to the side of the room.

"What about his zipper?" Michelle asked.

"What about his zipper?" Lisa zinged back. "Leave him alone, he's a good guy."

"Did you tell Johnny yet?"

Lisa sighed loudly, and her smile faded.

"No. Mark's his best friend."

Michelle handed Lisa a party-bowl. "Tricky tricky."

"You know, I really loved Johnny at first." Lisa said, sitting back down on the couch. "And now everything has changed. I need more from life than what Johnny can give me. Suddenly my eyes are wide open, and I can see everything so clearly. I want it all."

"You think you can get it all from Mark?"

"If he can't give me what I want, somebody else will." Lisa said, pouting her lips and shaking her shoulders. You go girl!

"Lisa, you're sounding just like your mother!" Michelle said, sitting down herself. "You're being so manipulative."

Claudette was very manipulative and so was Lisa.

"So what? You could learn something from me. You have to take as much as you can. You have to live, live, live!" Lisa said, and she shook her hair all party like. "Don't worry about me. I've got everything covered."

Michelle shook her head.

"Your point of view is so different from mine." she said.

"Look, I don't want to talk about it." Lisa said, and promptly stood up, grabbing the broom. "People are going to be getting here soon, and, we have to finish."

"Lisa!" Michelle prodded.

"I don't see what the big deal is!" Lisa grabbed a loaf of bread from a grocery bag.
"Doesn't everybody, look out for number one?" Lisa grabbed some chips from the grocery bag.
"Don't I, deserve the best?" Lisa grabbed a bag of pretzels from the grocery bag.

"I couldn't do that," Michelle said, "you're too much for me Lisa!"

Lisa pointed an accusing finger at Michelle. "You're not such an angel yourself."
Michelle often gave her boyfriend Mike blow jobs. In fact, Michelle was sitting on a semen stain of his as they spoke.

"Yeah, but we're not talking about me, are we?" she said, then smacked Lisa on the legs with a pillow.

"Stop it!" Lisa pushed out through giggles, "Are you trying to ruin my party?"

The girls burst out into giggling again and went about setting up the rest of the party.

* * *
San Francisco's Golden Gate Bridge is very long.

* * *

"That's the idea man. Yeah, you're right. That's the idea!" Johnny said as he jogged beside Mark in the forest.

"Catch me, come on!" Mark egged Johnny on as the ran. Johnny grunted and caught up. Eventually they made their way into the city, and were jogging up some stairs.

"I'm thinking of getting a house in Casa Lito. How are the rents like these days?" Mark asked.

"Pretty good. Oh, you'd be qualified for sure." Johnny confirmed.

"You serious?"

"Yeah, I'm sure!"

The breathing came hard as they climbed each step together.

"When can we meet about that? " Mark asked.

"Oh, we check my office about that tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?"

"Yeah."

"Should I come in like late afternoon?"

"Absolutely." Johnny said, "Eight o'clock?"

"Really?" Mark couldn't believe Johnny's continued generosity.

"Yeah."

"Right on. That's great."

They jogged away as friends do, back to the white sedan parked in the forest and from there back to the building they both called home.

Chapter 16

2010-12-06T13:47:00.000-08:00

The latte-machine sprayed loudly as Johnny and Mark entered the coffee shop. A woman in a black tube top ordered while her boyfriend stood silently at her side.

"Um, I'll have a large peanut-butter cup with extra whip cream please." she ordered.

"All right." The Barista responded, turning to her companion.

"And I'll take..." he took a moment to study the menu, "Some cheese cake and a coffee!"

"All right, well why don't you guys take a seat, we'll have that right out for you!"

"Thank you." the tube-top girl said, and the couple went to take their seat, eagerly awaiting their deserts.

And then another couple advanced in line.

"Hi, how you doing?" the Barista greeted. "What would you like?"

"Can I get uh...bagel and an americana?" the man ordered.

"All right, sure." And she turned towards his girlfriend.

"I'm going to get a slice of cheesecake and a bottle of water." she said. Cheesecake was a very popular option.

"Yeah, that sounds good! Why don't you guys have a seat and we'll have that right out for you."

The couple went to take their seat, eagerly awaiting their deserts.

Finally, Johnny and Mark arrived at the front of the line.

"Oh, hi Susan!" Johnny smiled warmly at the cashier.

"Well hi Johnny, how are you! Good to see 'ya! What would you like?" she said.

"Hot chocolate please." Johnny moaned.

"What size is that?"

"Medium please."

Susan turned towards Mark. "And how about you?"

"I'll have a mint tea." he said.

"OK. Medium also?"

"Yeah."

"Go sit down, we'll be right there!" , Susan invited, and got to making Johnny's medium hot chocolate and Mark's mint tea (also medium).

The needlessly lengthy ordering process complete, Mark and Johnny took a seat.

"I'm so tired of girls games..." Mark started.

Johnny, although he was so tired of Mark cryptically complaining about women, nonetheless indulged his friend.

"What happened now, Mark?"

"Relationships never work, man. I don't know why I waste my time." Mark looked off out the window.

"What makes you say that?" Johnny prodded.

Mark looked down at the table, then back up at his best friend. "It's not that easy, Johnny."

"Well, you should be happy Mark." Johnny said, genuine empathy behind the words. He wanted nothing but happiness for his best friend, no matter where he could find it.

Mark sighed . "Yeah, I know. Life is too short."

Susan arrived with Johnny's medium hot chocolate and Mark's medium mint tea.

"Oh, thank you Susan." Johnny smiled.

"Oh, you're welcome. How about something like...cheese cake?" Susan had received an extra-large shipment of cheese cake batter the night before, and it was going to spoil rotten unless she unloaded the whole thing within the next few hours.

"Nah, no." Johnny murmured a negative.

"It's real good!"

"No."

Susan could take a hint.

"All right."

And she left the men to their discussion.

"How was work today?" Mark asked.

"Oh, pretty good. We got a new client...at the bank. We make a lot of money."

Mark snarled his brow in utter confusion.

"What client?!"

"I can not tell you! It's confidential."

"Aw come on! Why not?" Mark rolled his eyes.

"No, I can't. Anyway, how is your sex life?" Behind them, a segway crashed and burned on the street. Mark ignored it, shrugged and answered Johnny's question.

"I can't talk about it."

"Why not?" Johnny asked. Something was up.

Susan came by with their bill, which no one had requested. "Take your time." she said, and went back behind the bar.

Time? That reminded Johnny of something.

"Oh, god. I have to run!" he said, standing.

"All ready?" It had only been two minutes.

"Yeah, I'm sorry."

Mark nodded. "All right, its on me."

"Yeah, see you Mark." Johnny said, raising his hand for a bro-five.

"So you want to go jogging? Golden Gate Park?" Mark asked as their hands collided, over and over again, shifting from palm to fist in a best friend salute.

"Yeah sure, what time?" Johnny said.

"Golden Gate Park, six-thirty."

"You're on!" Johnny said, then grabbed his coffee and made for the door.

"All right, see ya." Mark called out.

"Okie-dokie bye." Johnny said, and with that, he was gone.

Mark took a long, hard, hot sip of his mint tea and wondered what he could possibly do next.

* * *

Hours later, Mark was walking up the spiral staircase of Johnny's bedroom, Lisa leading the way. He couldn't help but notice how great she looked in that black dress.

She pulled him close to her. Mark pulled back.

"What's going on here?" he said, confused.

"I like you very much, Mark." she said, rubbing his shoulders. Mark could feel the blood rush from his head and throb down into his crotch. But he wouldn't let it get to him. Not this time. Johnny was his best friend.

"Hey, come on. Johnny's my best friend." he said.

"Just, one more time." she said, reaching under his sweated and rubbing his nipples. She his shirt up and off his head. And Mark didn't stop her.

They kissed and she pushed him onto the bed. Mark pushed aside the shoulder of her dress and climbed on top of her. Then they made out like that for a long while.

"Oh yeah..." Mark moaned softly.

A half-hour later, Lisa took off her bra, revealing her right breast. They made out some more. Finally, after an hour of rubbing each others backs, Mark penetrated her and they made love in the missionary position.

* * *

San Fransisco has a long bridge called the Golden Gate Bridge.

* * *

Johnny pulled his white sedan over, parking it on the road next to Golden Gate Park. He exited the car to find Mark, his best friend waiting for him under a tree.

"Hey!" Johnny called out.

"Hey, Johnny. How's it going?"

"Pretty good!" He said, and they locked hands in friendship.

It was going pretty good for Mark too. He'd spent the day sipping on mint tea with Johnny, nailing Johnny's future wife and now jogging with Johnny.

Mark grabbed the football (which of course he had because who wouldn't bring a football for a jogging date with your best friend) and chucked it over to Johnny. They both started into a jog, throwing the ball back and forth as they went.

"What's new Johnny!" Mark asked, throwing the ball.

"Nothing much!" Johnny said, throwing it back. "What's new with you man!"

"Not much, man." Mark replied. They ran out together into the green. "Catch this!"

"All right! Woo!" Johnny exclaimed.

"Woo! Wee! Woo!" Mark yelped.

And they went on like that, jogging awhile, then stopping to throw the ball then jogging some more, hollering and ribbing each other as they went. Two men playing as boys would. As best friends would.

Johnny threw the ball at Mark, then ran at him, jumping on his back and hugging his bro.
Mark struggled a bit and they both fell to the ground, grabbing and wrestling each other with an affection unrivaled.

Mark and Johnny would remember this day for their rest of their lives. Mark because it was the last time him and Johnny were together, truly, as best friends. And Johnny because he didn't have much life left to live.

Chapter 15

2010-11-02T06:41:00.000-07:00

"Oh, thank you. Yeah, thanks a lot." Johnny was on the phone with someone. He was wearing a tux in preparation for his wedding with Lisa, his future wife. Not the wedding itself, but the wedding photos, which they were taking a month before the wedding for some reason.

Just as he was hanging up the phone with who ever was on the phone, Denny walked in. He was holding the football in his hand, and he too was wearing a tuxedo.

"Oh, hi Denny! Nice tux! You look great!"

"You look really handsome." Denny replied to his father-figure.

Johnny simply laughed.

"Your wedding picture is going to look great!"

"Oh, thanks."

Ding-dong! It was the door!

Denny rushed over to open it. "Hey, Peter! Come on in!"

"Oh, hey Peter!" Johnny greeted.

"Hey guys." Peter said, closing the door behind him.

"You look good too!" Denny said.

Johnny gestured towards a sofa-seat. "Sit down!"

Peter sat down.

Ding-dong! It was the door!

Denny rushed over and opened it. What he saw on the other side startled him.

"Woah!"

It was Mark. Clean shaven. He used to have a beard, but he didn't anymore. And it was blowing everyone's minds.

"Wooooaaahhhhhh!" Johnny exclaimed in awe.

"Hey guys." Mark said casually, like it was no big deal that he had just shaved his beard. "You like it?"

Everyone answered at once.

"Yeah! It looks good!" Peter said.

"Yeah!" Denny agreed.

"You look good," Johnny said, "you look like a baby face."

Denny waved the football. "You guys wanna play some football?"

"In tuxes? No, you gotta be kidding." Peter groaned.

Denny turned to Mark. "Come on, Mark, let's do it."

"I'm up for it!" Mark said.

"Johnny?" Denny asked.

Johnny gestured towards the sitting-psychologist. "Ask Peter!"

"Come on, Peter!"

"No, I don't think so." Peter said, shaking his head.

Denny nearly got on his hands and knees to beg he wanted to football with everyone so hard.

"Please!"

Peter was steadfast in his refusal.

"No."

"Come on!" Denny said, and then he started chirping like a chicken. "Cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep!"

Immediatly, Johnny and Mark followed suit.

"Cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep!" They all chirped, flapping their arms in unison as if they too were chickens.

Peter could do nothing but smile, and of course, moments later they were running down an alley in their tuxes, throwing the football back and forth, hollering all the way.

"Catch, Johnny!" Denny exclaimed, throwing the football to Johnny.

He caught in flawlessly. "Yeah! Nice snag!" Denny said.

Johnny threw the ball to Peter, who caught it.

"All right Peter!" Denny cheered.

Peter threw it to Denny, who threw it to Mark.

"Here we go Mark!" Mark intercepted the ball.

"Come on! Come on!" Johnny encouraged.

Mark chucked a low one at Denny's crotch. Denny grabbed it just in time, stumbling with the ball before getting a firm grip on it.

"Fetch Mark!" he said, throwing it right back to Mark.

Mark gestured at Peter to go long. "Go!"

Peter stood for a moment.

"Go!" Mark repeated.

"Go deep!" Denny yelled out.

Peter darted on his heel and ran out. Mark wound up, but before he could fire his fist canon full of pigskin, Peter tripped on himself and fell face-first onto the ground.

His friends ran over to him in a flash.

Denny smiled. "Gee Peter, your clumsy."

"All right, that's it. I'm done." Peter grunted, pushing himself back up. "Great idea Denny."

Johnny, Mark and Denny helped Peter up, then disappeared into the alley.

And with that Peter, perhaps because he was tired of being mocked consistently, was gone from the plot.

Chapter 14

2010-10-15T21:35:00.000-07:00

Cold wind hit Peter has he opened the door to the roof. Mark was all ready up there, leaning up against the brick of the balcony.

"Hey Mark, what's up?" Peter greeted, taking a seat in one of the silver chairs that was kept up there at all times.

"Oh, hey Peter." Mark replied absentmindedly.

"It's a good place to think up here, isn't it?" Peter mused.

Mark hated it when Peter played psychologist. Couldn't he leave well enough alone for once?
"What, man? You want to put me on the clock?" Mark shot back.

Peter noticed something in Mark's hand. A joint. Of drugs. Peter had all ready seen how drugs had destroyed his friend's lives in the past. Denny's bright future was almost extinguished along with his drug cigarettes, and Johnny was still recovering from his addiction to the devil's sauce from way back when he lived in the home country.

"What the hell is that?" Peter said.

Mark smiled and considered that for a moment.

"You want some?" he sneered, "it's good bro."

"You know I don't smoke that stuff."

Mark exhaled deeply and took another hit. There was something in his eyes...

"You look depressed." Peter said.

"I got this sick feeling in my stomach man," Mark started "I did something awful. I don't think I can forgive myself."

Peter's psychologist training kicked in. "Tell me about it." he said.

Mark stood, taking a drag off his death-stick and walking towards the ledge. "I just feel like...like running."He reached the precipice of the roof and looked down. "Killing myself...something crazy like that."

"Why are smoking that crap?" Peter said, approaching Mark with caution, "No wonder you can't think straight! It's going to screw with your head!"

Mark turned menacingly to face Peter.

"It's none of your business, man. You think you know everything! You don't know shit!"

Mark went for the door, but Peter grabbed at him and pulled him back. "Hey, wait a second! Who do you think you are? You're acting like a kid! Just grow up!"

Mark grabbed Peter by his collar and roughed him up some.

"Hey!" he growled, "Who you calling a kid? FUCK YOU."

"Look, just chill out Mark. I'm just trying to help."

Peter stared deep into Mark's eyes, and suddenly everything was clear. Mark's odd behavior, his new married girlfriend, Johnny's troubles with Lisa...it all led to one inescapable, apocalyptic conclusion.

"You're having an affair with Lisa, aren't you?"

"What?"

Realization dawned on Mark's face. He was caught.

"What!?"

"Am I wrong?"

Adrenalin shot through Mark. He grabbed Peter and pushed him up against the ledge of the roof. Peter lay dangling above to city street.

"What are you, nuts!?"

Fighting against Mark's considerable strength, Peter flung himself free, pushing Mark and himself back onto the roof.

They stood at opposite ends of the roof, breathing heavily.

Mark approached Peter. Instantly, he regretted his outburst.

"I'm sorry." he said, "I'm sorry, man. You OK?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." Peter said, recovering well from the potentially murderous assault, "Let's just talk about your problem." Peter never backed away from his psychologist duties, no matter what the danger.

"You sure you OK?"

"Yeah." Peter said, then gestured for Mark to sit down on one of the silver chairs. Instead of sitting on them, Mark kicked them the fuck over in rage.

He collected himself against the balcony.

"Damn it, man. Fuck! Why do you want to know my secret, man?"
Before Peter could answer, he added, "Well, you're right! It's Lisa. I don't know what to do, man. I'm so depressed. It's all her fault! She's such a manipulative BITCH!"

Mark fumed with anger. If only there was some way he could have stopped Lisa from forcing him to want to have sex with her repeatedly. But there wasn't.

"How the hell could you let this happen?" Peter said.

"Fuck!" Mark replied.

"You know this is going to ruin your friendship with Johnny. What were you thinking?"

Mark closed his eyes and sighed deeply.

"All right," Peter said, "You want my advice? Sometimes life can get complicated. And you got to be responsible. So you don't see Lisa again! And you definitely don't sleep with her again!"

Mark shook his head in agreement.

"Just, find yourself another girl. She's a sociopath! She only cares about herself! She can't love anyone!"

Peter, as a trained psychologist, was certifiably trained to diagnose Lisa as a crazy bitch.

"Whatever Peter, come on."

The issue resolved, apparently, Mark gave Peter a little buddy-push, and the two men descended back into the building.

New Facebook Page!

2010-10-06T12:26:00.001-07:00

I saw a movie this weekend called The Facebook Network. It was about a website that some kids made in college called www.facebook.net. When I got home, I typed in the address to see if it would actually work. And it did! Turns out The Facebook is a real thing and not just the subject of a hot new movies.

One of it's functions is to make pages to like about things that you like. So I have done this for this website.

I'll post whenever a new chapter is up so you can all keep up to date and what not.

Chapter 14 coming soon!

Like The Room Novelization on Facebook!

Chapter 13

2010-10-04T19:20:00.000-07:00

Johnny sat and poured himself a glass of water. "I don't understand women, do you Peter?"

Peter, who was a psychologist and one of Johnny's closest friends apparently, sat next to Johnny. He had Harry Potter glasses and looked like a sweaty intellectual.

"No man does!" he said through a shrug, "what's the problem?"

"They never say what they mean, and they always play games." Johnny said, placing the water pitcher on the floor.

"Okay..." Peter said, "What do you mean?"

"I have a serious problem with Lisa. I don't think she's faithful to me. In fact, I know she isn't."

"Lisa? Are you sure?" It didn't come as to much of a surprise to Peter. She'd tried to make it with him too. But Peter was gay and he'd refused her. He was putting up the front of shock now for Johnny's benefit.

"Yeah, I'm sure." Johnny said, sadly, "I overheard a conversation with her and her mother."

"This is Lisa we're talking about?" Peter feigned disbelief. "I don't know what to say!"

"But you are psychologist! Do you have some advice?" Johnny always found Peter, being a trained psychologist, to be full of wisdom. This wasn't the first time he'd come to his friend as an unofficial patient.

Peter stood up. "It's a complicated situation Johnny...I mean you're my friend. I don't want to get between you and Lisa." He all ready gone down that road. And lost. "Look, if you want to. You should confront her!"

"I can't confront her!" Johnny shot back, "I want to give her second chance, after all, she's my future wife! You know what they say! Love is blind!" He took a sip.

"You got a lot of faith in Lisa. Sometimes, life gets complicated, the unexpected can happen." Peter paused to consider his words. "When it does...you just gotta deal with it."

This was why Johnny kept Peter around. He always had generic, arbitrary advice for any situation.

A ringing came at the door.

"Did you hear the door?" Peter asked, referring to the ringing at the door.

Johnny shrugged. "Yeah..." He placed his glass down and went to open it.

"Oh hi, Mark!" It was Mark, Johnny's best friend. "Come in!"

"Oh hi, Johnny! Hey Peter!"

"We're just talking about women..." Johnny said, sitting back down.

"Women, man. Women just confuse me!" Mark said, letting out a sigh as he sat down. "I have a girl...but she's married! I mean she's very attractive, it's just...it's driving me crazy." Even though bringing up his affair in front of Johnny was risky, he really needed guidance. Guidance that he hoped that Peter, trained psychologist, could provide.

"Why didn't you mention this before?" Peter inquired, "I mean, is it anyone I know?"

"Nah, man. You don't know her."

"Can I meet her?" Johnny asked like a creep. Denny was beginning to rub off on him.

"I don't think so. It's an awkward situation."

"You mean she's too old, or you think I would take her away from you!" Johnny joked. Everyone laughed. Good joke. Women who are too old are gross! Friends stealing women, doubly so!

"I have my own problems." Johnny said.

"Tell me about your problems, Johnny." Peter sat down himself.

As much as Johnny benefited from Peter's experience as a psychologist, he also hated it for some reason. "Peter! You always play psychologist with us!"

"Look, I'm just your friend. I'm just worried about you."

"Lisa's teasing me about weather we are going to get married or not. And...we didn't make love in a while. And I don't know what to do!"

Mark took all this in and a sudden surge of guilt flooded him. Were Johnny's problems somehow...his fault?

"You never really know," Peter said, "I mean, look, you should tell her about your feelings OK? You shouldn't hide them. You two have been together forever. You can work out anything as long as you talk about it."

"Not always!" Johnny retorted.

"People are people, sometimes they just can't see their own faults!"

Johnny smiled. Once again, Peter always knew the perfect cliched truism to boost his spirits.

Mark felt the topic was dangerously close to his affair with Lisa, so he spoke up.

"Hey, I'm thinking of moving to a bigger place, man. I'm making some good money."

Peter didn't seem to take the hint.

"Look, you should tell her the truth. I mean, you're in this for your girl right?"

"Yeah, right Peter. Hahaha." Johnny laughed, "Is she getting a divorce Mark?"

"You guys are too much!" Mark quickly changed the subject again, "Hey are you running um, Bay to Breakers this year?"

"I am, sure." Johnny said.

Peter wasn't as enthusiastic, "I'm not doing it this year." he said, standing and walking towards the mantle.

"Chicken, Peter! You are just a little chicken!" Johnny said, and then he started chirping. "Cheepcheepcheep cheep cheep cheeeeeeeppppp!" he howled wildly.

"Who you calling chicken? I just don't like all the weirdos. There's too many weirdos there." Peter stammered.

Johnny, who had just stopped chirping manically, didn't know what he meant by 'weirdos'.
"I don't mind. Mark, remember the one with big tits? The blondie one?"

"No, how about the one with the bridal gown with the sign?"

"Oh oh yeah!" Johnny laughed, "'Will you marry me?' Hahaha! I thought I would take her up on it! Hahaha!"

"I never ate so much!" Mark said.

"Yeah, the barbeque chicken was delicious rice." Johnny agreed.

"That's exactly my point, you're both weird!" Peter said, sitting down again. "You guys want to play cards?"

"No, we can't!" Johnny said, "I expect Lisa any minute." Lisa had a strict no card playing policy.

"Hey come on, man! Who's the king of the house!" Mark said. Certainly Johnny didn't respect Lisa's wishes above his own!

"Yeah, this is what she's like before you get married!" Peter said, "Speaking...how did you ever meet Lisa? You never told us."

"Oh, that's a very interesting story."

Mark and Peter leaned in to what was sure to be an extremely worthwhile story.

Johnny continued. "When I moved to San Francisco, um, with two suit cases and I didn't know anyone and I have...I hit YMCA with a two-thousand dollar cheque which I couldn't cash."

"Why not?" Mark asked.

"Well because it was an out of state bank. Anyway, I was working as a bus boy in hotel and, uh, she was sitting drinking her coffee and she was so beautiful, and I say hi to her. That's how we met."

"So, I mean..." Mark started, not wanting to offend his friend, "What's the interesting part?"

"Well the interesting part is that on our first date, she paid for dinner!"

"What!" Mark exclaimed. "No tips from your job!" That was interesting. A woman pay for a meal, with her own money?

"Whatever! You guys wanna eat something?" Johnny invited. Both men shook their heads. So Johnny just left the room silently.

Just as he exited, the door opened.

And Lisa walked in.

Mark turned to meet her gaze. Their eyes locked. The passion was electric, and Peter couldn't help but pick up on it.

"Hey guys." she said, a hint of smile on her lips. "What's going on?"

"Oh, hey Lisa." Mark said, as innocently as he could muster.

Denny, who was also there, looked out of the window contemplatively.

"Where's Johnny?" Lisa asked.

"In the kitchen. I gotta go." Mark said. Of course he didn't really, but he couldn't risk staying any longer. He might slip up.

"I didn't mean to chase you off," Lisa said, "You should stick around for awhile."

"i got work early..." Mark said, his eyes drifting away from Lisa's. Denny stared at the both of them with awe.

"See yah." And with that, Mark was gone.

Also Peter randomly left as well. Leaving Lisa and Denny to sit on the floor with the door open.

"Did you get your wedding gown yet?" Denny said, seated on the floor.

"No, I get plenty of time." Lisa replied, more kneeling on the floor than sitting.

"You sure you have plenty of time? It's only a month away."

Denny was beginning to get worried about this wedding...

"It'll be fine. What are you so worried about? Everything's OK."

"Johnny doesn't seem very excited...is there some problem?" Denny persisted. Lisa and Johnny were like parent figures to him.

"There's no problem! Why do you ask?"

"I just want you and Johnny to be happy." Their sit concluded, they both stood up again.

"Look, Denny, I need to talk to Johnny. OK? I'll see you later."

Denny shrugged. On his own again!

"OK. Tell him I said hello?"

"Yeah."

And with that, Denny was gone.

As for Lisa, she needed to have some words with her 'future husband'.

Some Room-keeping

2010-10-04T13:30:00.001-07:00

Oh hi, readers!

I've read a lot of blogs that slowly stop updating and die. It's very annoying as a reader! Oh man, is it ever very annoying as a reader. So I feel your pain, all twenty-three (plus!) of you who follow this blog. But I've also come to know how those other bloggers must have felt! In the past month since Chapter 12, I have been busy with life-stuff! I could bore you with the specifics, but you can go to a blog that is about life-stuff to read about boring life-stuff. This is a blog about The Room.

All that to say that I haven't given up on the site, nor will I. Even if it takes years, The Room will be novelized in its entirety. I've actually allready written the final chapter. I just need to get through the rest of the film. Which I will. Eventually.

In the meantime though, it has come to my attention that there is a book called 'Room' that is not by me and not about 'The Room' by Tommy Wiseau. Bullshit.

Here is a picture of it:

Also, as mentioned in the comments to last chapter, this site was featured on another site! Neato! Here is that site: http://wp.me/pvNCE-2nt
Thanks for the write-up!

And finally, Chapter 13 will be up later tonight! So tune in for that!

Thanks for sticking around!

Chapter 12

2010-09-08T22:27:00.000-07:00

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Long time no The Room Novelization! As you can imagine, spending so much time in The Room eventually makes you feel like an atomic bomb waiting to go off. Suffice to say, it was getting very difficult coming up with new ways to phrase identical dialog and describe increasingly repetitive situations, so I took what I figured would be a permanent breather. But then the good folks (folk?) over at The Room facebook page were kind enough to post about this site again, reminding me after two months that it existed! Thanks to them there's a new influx of readers, so I figured I should finish what I started. Anyways, without further Author's Note, here is the first of the climatic chapters of The Room Novelization.

As the door to Lisa's apartment swung open, she couldn't help but notice that something seemed...off about her mother. They'd just returned from another mother-daughter excursion, their thirteenth that week, and Claudette had hardly spoken a word the whole afternoon.

"You look really tired today, Mom," Lisa said, "Are you feeling OK?"

Claudette raised a dismissive hand. "I didn't get much sleep last night."

"Why not? What's wrong?"

"You remember my friend, Sherley Hamilton?"

Lisa did. She was an old lady, like her mother.

"Uh-huh."

"She wants to buy a new house, so I asked Johnny if he could help her with the down payment!"

Perfectly reasonable request, thought Lisa. Future husbands (good ones) pay for their wives mother's friend's house's down payments. Simple as that.

"All he can tell me it's an awkward situation," Claudette continued, "I expected your husband to be a little more generous."

Lisa rolled her eyes. "He's not my husband."

"I know, I know!" Claudette said, walking towards the couch, "but Johnny is part of our family!"

"Mom, I don't love Johnny anymore." Lisa said for what felt like the thirty-third time in about an hour. When were people going to get it through their heads!

"I don't even like him!", she added.

It was Claudette's turn to roll her eyes.

Lisa knew exactly what it would take to force her mother to take her seriously.

"I had sex with someone else." she said.

"You can't be serious!"

Meanwhile, Johnny was lurking by the stairs the whole time, listening to everything everyone was saying like a master spy. What was it Lisa had just said? She slept with someone else? He didn't believe it. Wouldn't. Not Lisa, not his Lisa. He kept spying, stealthy like a raven in the night.

Lisa sighed. "You don't understand."

"Who? Who is it?" Claudette asked.

"I don't want to talk about it." Lisa hardly ever wanted to talk about anything, ever. Yet, oddly, she always ended up complaining at length to all her friends and family at every opportunity. It was one of Lisa's more enigmatic features, and it drove Johnny (and, indeed, Mark, Johnny's best friend) absolutely wild.

"You don't want to talk about it? Then why did you bring it up in the first place!" Claudette had a knack for pointing things out like that. Lisa couldn't stand it.

"I don't know."

"You don't know?" Claudette shook her head, "if you think I'm tired today, wait till you see me tomorrow!"

Claudette was also adept at spinning terrifying threats. She started making for the door.

"Are you coming to the party?" Lisa asked.

"I suppose so..."

And with that, having stopped in the house for about three minutes, the two ladies were gone, left to resume their all-day excursion. Leaving Johnny alone in the house.

"How can they say this about me?" he said aloud, to no one. "I don't believe it! I show them! I will record everything!"

He couldn't believe that Lisa would ever be unfaithful to him, but if she was, he needed to know for sure. And there was one bullet-proof way of finding out.

He made his way, slyly for some reason, over to the phone.

From out of his pocket he withdrew a massive tape recorder and began to carefully connect it to the phone line. Johnny always kept the recorder at close reach in case a situation like this might arise, as it did once in the home country.

Slowly he connected the wires. Red to red, yellow to yellow, green to blue. He realized his mistake with the green wire and connected it to the green socket. The blue wire then went into the blue socket as it should have all along. The wiring complete, he replaced the shell of the machine, so as not to arouse suspicion.

He took a tape from his shirt pocket and placed it in. A quick check, and it was hidden under the table.

He adjusted the books and plant on the table, ensuring it was just as he had left it.

There. It was done. He would record everything.

With that, Johnny smiled a sneaky smile and crept up the staircase, awaiting Lisa's return.

Chapter 11

2010-07-20T04:52:00.000-07:00

Johnny was returning home after another long day at the bank. Today, he would take a route that would lead him through a few alleyways. He was still upset about the night before, and didn't want to confront Lisa right away. The sight of the red bricks and silver garbage cans seemed to match his ever darkening circumstances.

A voice came from behind him. Johnny recognized it instantly as Michelle's boyfriend, Mike.

"Hey Johnny, what's going on, man?" he said.

The two embraced in greeting. "Oh hi Mike, what's new? What's going on man?"

"Actually, Johnny..." Mike started, "...I got a little bit of a tragedy on my hands."

Johnny nodded for him to continue.

"Me and Michelle. We were...we were making out, uh, at your place."

Johnny laughed to himself. Those two!

"And, um, Lisa and Claudette sorta...walked in on us, in the middle of it."

Mike paused to gauge Johnny's reaction. Johnny simply stared at him with squinty, sagging, empty eyes.

"That's not the end of the story."

"Go on," Johnny invited, "I'm listening"

"OK. We're going at it, and I get out of there as fast as possible. I get my pants. I get my shirt. And I get out of there, and then about half way down the stairs I realized that I have misplaced, um...I have forgotten something..." Mike stammered, "...uh, my underwear."

Johnny laughed again. Mike shook off a his own giggles and continued with the story.

"So I go back to get it, you know? And I pretend that I'm looking for my book. You know, I'm like, looking for my book. And then I reach in and put my underwear in my pocket and just try and sort of slide out real quick? Well Claudette, she saw it sticking out of my pocket, so she pulls it out," he mimed stretching out a pair of underwear, "And she's uh, showing everybody...me underwears."

Johnny scrunched up his face in laughter, "You must be kidding, underwear! I got the picture!"

Mike shrugged, "I didn't know what to do!"

"That's life!" Johnny said, patting Mike on the shoulder. Both men shrugged it off.

"Hey Johnny!" it was Denny for some reason, also in the alley. The boy ran up to the two older men with a spring in his creepy steps. "Hey Mike!"

"Oh hey Denny!" Johnny greeted.

Denny had the football with him.

"You guys want to play some football?" he asked cheerfully.

"I gotta go see Michelle in a little bit," Mike said, avoiding Denny's invitation the best he could, "...to uh, make out with her. So I'm sorry."

Denny wasn't buying it. "Come on!" he pleaded.

Johnny agreed. "Come on! Let's do it! Come on!" he said.

"All right, all right whatever." Mike grabbed the football from Denny.

"Let's go for it!" Johnny said, and moved into position.

"I'm going out!" Denny proclaimed excitedly, running a few paces opposite of Mike. Mike threw him the ball and Denny caught it happily.

The three friends stood a meter apart from one another, tossing a football around in the alley like friends do.

"I'm sorry you had to see that." Mike said, throwing the ball to Johnny.

"I'm not...sorry!" Denny said, and the three laughed. "Studying right!"

"Yeah...well..."

"I don't study like that."

Johnny smiled, "He doesn't!"

"Hey Denny, what's up!"

It was Mark, who was also there, in the brick alley way, for some reason.

"Hey what's up Mark!"

"Oh hi, Mark!" Johnny greeted, throwing him the ball.

"What's up Mark?" Mike asked.

"Not to much," Mark replied with a handsome smile, "how about you guys?"

"He's just telling us about an underwear issue he had." Denny started mischievously

"Dude! Don't worry! Don't--" Mike tried to stop him, but it was all ready out. Mark curled his face in disgust.

"Underwear?" he asked, "What's that?"

"It's embarrassing man, I don't want to get into it." Mike replied sheepishly.

"Underwear man? Come on!"

And to emphasize the point, Mark pushed Mike the fuck over into a bunch of trash cans The other three men tried to break his fall, but Mike hit the ground. Hard.

"Oh god!" Mike screamed in pain.

"Are you OK!?" all three asked in near unison, helping him up.

"I'm fine!"

"Are you sure?" Johnny asked, reaching for his arm to pull him up.

"Uh-huh." Mike assured, slowly getting to his feet.

"You want to see doctor?" Johnny asked.

"No, no. I'm good. I'm all right." Mike said, and Mark wrapped the man's arms around his shoulders. "I'm fine."

"Mark, why don't you take him home and Mike, listen, if you need anything call me. Anytime, all right?" Johnny said, patting Mike on the shoulder. "All right?"

"Yeah!" Mike moaned.

"See you guys!" Johnny called out as they left.

"See you guys!" Denny also called out as they left.

Denny sighed and reached for the football. He was still up for another round, but Johnny was done for the day.

"Let's go home, Denny." he said, a reassuring hand over the young man's shoulder.

And the two walked home from the brick alley.

Chapter 10

2010-07-08T06:20:00.000-07:00

Michelle lay on Lisa's couch, her hand wrapped around a cold glass of red wine. It was just her and Lisa this time, no Mike.

"So, how's Johnny?" she asked.

"He didn't get his promotion." Lisa replied, and dread crept into her voice.

Michelle grimaced. She knew how important that promotion had been to him. "Oh, is he disappointed?" she said.

"Quite a bit." Lisa's tone was cold as steel. "He got drunk last night. And he hit me."

Michelle nearly spat out her wine. "He hit you?!" Johnny didn't even drink last time she checked. Not after what happened to him in his home country. And domestic violence...she didn't think he had it in him.

"He didn't know what he was doing." Lisa said.

Michelle looked her friend up and down for bruises. "Are you okay?"

"Well I don't want to marry him anymore?"

"What!?" Michelle nearly spat out her wine again. Like her boyfriend Mike, this was coming so fast.

"Johnny's...okay." Lisa said, putting down her wine, "But I found somebody else."

Michelle giggled. "Lisa! This isn't right! You're living with one guy and you're sleeping with another guy?"

Lisa looked at Michelle with sad, sunken eyes. "I'm doing what I want to do."

"Who is he?" Despite her repulsion at the idea, Michelle couldn't help but ask.

Lisa grinned. "His best friend. And he lives in this building."

Michelle's eyes nearly shot out of her head. "I can't believe you're telling me this! It's Mark, isn't it?"

Lisa nodded and reached for her wine.

Michelle let herself have another giggle, then softened her tone. As a friend of both Johnny and Lisa, she couldn't let this go by without comment. "Lisa, you know, you're just thinking about yourself. Somebody's going to get hurt. You've got to be honest with Johnny."

A lump in Lisa's neck began to bulge out. It was a tick she'd had since she was a child, triggered by intense guilt or stress. Like an alien struggling to burst it's way from her neck, it resembled a disgusting mobile tumor. She hoped Michelle wouldn't notice.

"I can't do that. He would be devastated." she said.

"Well, if you care so much for him, why cheat on him?"

Lisa paused a moment, struggling for the words that would excuse her actions. They didn't come.

"Look, I really don't know what to do." she said finally, "I love Mark, I don't have any more feelings for Johnny."

Michelle sighed. "Johnny is so excited about this wedding!"

"I know." Lisa grumbled.

"You've got to tell Johnny."

Lisa leaned in and hardened her features. "No guilt trips."

"You don't feel guilty about this at all?"

"No," Lisa said, "I'm happy."

Michelle shook her head. "Something awful is going to happen."

"Please don't tell anybody." Lisa pleaded.

Michelle felt a heavy weight press down on her shoulders. Something awful was going to happen and she wasn't sure if she, or anyone, could do anything to stop it.

***

Johnny hopped off the street car and started walking towards his home. Another hard day at the bank. Johnny did all right, certainly enough to support his future-wife, but had he gotten the promotion he was promised he would have been a millionaire. On top of his work stresses, Johnny was still mulling over Lisa's claim that he had hit her. Of course, he hadn't. Don't even ask. He was drunk, sure, but not drunk enough to strike his future-wife. Not even on Denny's drugs would he do that. No, he was sure Lisa was making it up. But why? He intended to ask her tonight.

He came up to his door and noticed the paper still on the stoop. He picked it up and looked through the headlines. 'St. Martin Wildfire Burns Through 30, 000 Acres of Trees'. Huh, thought Johnny, and he went inside.

"...don't worry. You're secret is safe with me." The words, only audible as Johnny walked in, were from Michelle. She and Lisa toasted wine on the couch.

"Hello Michelle," Johnny said, "I heard you. What secret?"

Michelle shifted her eyes uncomfortably towards Lisa.

"It's between us women." Lisa quickly, and firmly, interjected.

Michelle smiled nervously. "Hi Johnny."

"Did you get a new dress?" Johnny asked.

"Umm..." she began to sit up, "...well I guess I better be going. Uh, I'll just, talk to you guys later?"

She started to make her towards the door but Johnny's big legs were in the way. She stepped over them.

"Excuse me." she muttered, then opened the door. "Lisa, remember what I told you."

Lisa swung around to meet Michelle's gaze. She met it with a cold retort. Michelle waved a quick goodbye and was gone.

Johnny, seated in front of his collection on spoon photos, turned from the door to Lisa.

"What is she talking about?"

Lisa swung her head in annoyance. "It's girl talk. I just told you that."

Johnny opened his mouth to say something, but paused before anything came out. He stood and took off his jacket. Here we go.

"I never hit you." he said.

Lisa stared a silent admission. She wasn't going to keep up that charade any longer.

"You shouldn't keep any secrets from me," Johnny continued, throwing his jacket onto the couch, "I'm your future husband."

"Are you sure about that? Maybe I'll change my mind." Lisa's voice was full of venom.

"Don't talk like that. What you mean?"

Lisa put down her wine with an air of finality. "What do you think? Women change their minds all the time."

Johnny laughed. "Hahaha! You must be kidding aren't you!"

"Look." Lisa said, standing and walking for the stairs "I don't want to talk about it. I'm going to go upstairs. And wash up. And go to bed."

Johnny stood abruptly, pushing Lisa back onto the couch. "How dare you talk to me like that! You should tell me everything!"

Lisa looked up with a muddled sense of fear and anger. She'd never seen him like this...

"I can't talk right now."

Johnny sat beside her, emotion bubbling up under his skin.
"Why Lisa, why? Please talk to me. Please!"

She simply looked away.

"You are part of my life. You are everything. I could not go on without you, Lisa!"

Lisa shook her head. This had gone on far enough.

"You're scaring me." she started to stand.

Johnny pointed a finger into her shoulder. "You are lying! I never hit you!" He said, then suddenly pulled at the air with his giant fists, exclaiming with all his considerable might "You are tearing me apart, Lisa!"

"Why are you so hysterical?" she yelled back.

"Do you understand life?" Johnny pushed her onto the couch a second time, "Do you!?" he prompted.

She stared, defeated, then got up once more, heading for the stairs. Johnny watched her go with regret. She took a few steps up, then turned to face him.

"Don't worry about it. Everything will be all right." she comforted.

"You drive me crazy!" Johnny said. But it feels all right, he thought just to himself.

"Goodnight, Johnny."

"Don't worry about it. I still love you." He called out after her as she ascended the spiral staircase.

"Goodnight Lisa."

She took the last few steps up the stairs, and was gone.

Chapter 9

2010-07-05T06:36:00.000-07:00

"I miss you." Lisa's voice came through Mark's receiver. After the affair with Denny had wrapped itself up, Mark had returned to his apartment and lit a few candles to calm down. No sooner had he laid his head upon his pillow did a ringing come from his portable phone.

"I just saw you! What are you talking about?" Mark's voice stung with annoyance.

"I just wanted to hear your sexy voice. I keep thinking about your strong hands around my body. It excites me so much. I love you."

Mark couldn't deny that he liked the sound of her sexy voice. And his hands around her body...well, it excited him too and he couldn't help it. But before he could get too excited, his mind snapped back to his best friend.

"Is Johnny there?" he asked.

"He's...in the shower."

He fought back another wave of attraction.

"God! I don't understand you! Why do you do things like this!" his hands clamped hard onto the phone.

"Because I love you. You just don't care do you?"

"I do care!" Mark assured, "But we agreed, it's over between us."

"I understand, it's our secret. But I still have feelings for you. You just don't care!"

Mark sighed audibly. "God! I do care!"

"I have to go now." Lisa said, "I'll see you later darling."

"Don't call me that."

"OK." she said, not believing it for a second, "Bye."

Mark slammed down the phone before she had chance to hang-up herself.
This was never going to end, was it?

***

The next day Mark went up to the roof to clear his head. He was relaxing on one of the chairs they kept up there, football in hand, when Johnny came in through the door, muttering to himself and holding a water bottle.

"I did not hit her! It's not true! It's bullshit! I did not hit her!" he threw down the water bottle, "I did not!" He turned and noticed Mark, sitting quietly on the roof. "Oh, hi Mark."

"Oh, hey Johnny. What's up?"

Johnny made his way to the adjacent chair beside Mark.

"I have a problem with Lisa. She said that I hit her." he sat.

Mark gasped. "What? Well did you?"

"No, it's not true, don't even ask!"
Johnny paused a moment. He considered the subject closed.
"What's new with you?"

"Well I'm just sitting up here thinking, you know?" That much was true. Of course, he couldn't tell Johnny the specifics of what he was thinking about, but maybe he could still depend on his best friend's guidance to help him through this mess with Lisa. "I have a question for you."

"Yeah." Johnny invited.

"Do you think girls like to cheat like guys do?"

Johnny titled his head with reserved curiosity, and, Mark thought, maybe even a hint of suspicion. He hoped that was just his imagination.

He stood up and leaned against the brick ledge.

"I don't know. I don't know, I'm just thinking."

Johnny looked off into the San Francisco skyline. "I don't have to worry about that," he said innocently, "because Lisa is loyal to me."

Mark frowned inwardly at the bitter dramatic irony of his words.

"Yeah man, you never know. People are very strange these days."

Johnny sat with his hands behind his head, listening. It's true, people were strange these days. Denny was living, breathing proof of that, he thought.

Mark continued.

"I used to know this girl. She had a dozen guys." His eyes went distant as he thought back to the girl. He, of course, had been one of the dirty dozen. He wasn't proud of it. Mark, despite his best efforts, just always ended up as the other man. His attention returned to Johnny. "One of them found out about it, beat her up so bad she ended up in a hospital on Guerraro Street."

Johnny threw his hands up and laughed "Hahaha! What a story, Mark!"
The thought of a adulterous woman getting what she deserved amused him. He stood to join Mark.

"Yeah, you could say that again." Mark said sternly. If Johnny should find out of his betrayal, would he go after Lisa? With a reaction like that...

Johnny leaned up against the side of the ledge next to Mark. He put his hand on the younger man's shoulder. All this talk of betrayal...he was relieved that he'd never have to worry about such things, surrounded as he was with people whom he loved and trusted.

"I'm so glad that I have you as my best friend, and I love Lisa so much."

"Yeah, man." Mark replied, "You are very lucky."

"Well maybe you should have a girl, Mark?" Johnny suggested gently.

Once again, the irony of Johnny's words struck deep, inspiring a stabbing guilt in Mark that was getting harder and harder to suppress.

"Yeah, yeah. Maybe you're right." Holding the football, he took a few steps towards the other ledge of the roof, "Maybe I have one all ready. I don't know yet."

"Well what happened? Remember Betty, that's her name?"

"Betty?"

"Yeah."

"Yeah, we don't see each other anymore. You know, she wasn't any good in bed. She was beautiful, but we had too many arguments." God, Mark thoughts turned again to Lisa, what is it with me and dating beautiful women who aren't any good in bed and with whom I argue so much!

"That's too bad, my Lisa is great, when I can get it." Johnny said.

Sure, if you consider dry humping on the stairs great. Mark thought, then sat down again with the football.

"Oh, man! I just can't figure women out. Sometimes there just too smart. Sometimes they're just flat out stupid. Other times they are just evil." Mark said, and of course, Lisa was all three.

"It's seems to me you are the expert, Mark!" Johnny exclaimed excitedly, sitting down once again beside his best friend.

"No," Mark said, smiling at his best friend's naivety, "definitively not an expert, Johnny."

Johnny noticed something in Mark. Something he was holding back perhaps? Some secret? Their talk had been exceedingly vague.

"What's bothering you Mark?" Johnny asked.

Mark looked at Johnny a moment, guilt plaguing at him. Abruptly he stood and went for the door.

"Nothing man."

Johnny quickly chased after him.

"Do you? Do you have some secret?"

He slapped a hand on Mark's shoulder and turned him towards himself. Now he was sure something was wrong.

"Forget it! Come on, forget it!" Mark dodged.

"Why don't you talk? Is it some secret? Come on!" Johnny grabbed the football out of Mark's hands.

"Forget it! Talk to you later!" Mark couldn't be stopped. He went for the door.

Johnny threw the football in the air and caught it.

"Well, whatever." he muttered to himself.

Mark charged past Denny, who himself was on his way to the roof, and they exchanged a hurried glance. Denny smiled but Mark couldn't be bothered. He descended into the building and was gone. Denny walked out onto the roof, shaking his head in confusion.

He noticed Johnny on one of the chairs, tossing the football, and walked over.

"Oh, hey Johnny." he said.

"Oh, hey Denny, what's up?" Johnny replied.

"What's wrong with Mark?" the boy asked.

Johnny smiled and laughed. "He's cranky today! Haha. Girl trouble I guess!"

It must not be that bad then, Denny thought.

"What's new with you?" Johnny prodded.

"Nothing much!" he said, then leaned up against the brick of the wall. "We still going to the movie tonight?"

"Sure, we are."

"What kind of movie are we going to see?"

Johnny caught the football and held it for a moment. "Well we'll see..." he threw up at the ball and caught it, "Denny, do not plan too much. It might not come out right!"

Johnny was always filled with wisdom like that, and Denny was happy to have him as his father figure.

"All right! Let's toss the ball around." Denny said with a smile.

Johnny stood up and tossed him the pigskin. "OK."

Denny caught it and ran his fingers over the stitching, contemplating.

"I got to tell you about something." he said after a moment.

Johnny held open his hands and Denny threw him the ball back. He caught it.

"Shoot Denny." he said, than tossed the ball back again.

Denny caught it. "It's about Lisa."

Suddenly, the ball wasn't being tossed anymore. Johnny leaned back and focused his attention, not harsh, but serious suddenly at the mention of his future wife. "Go on."

"She's beautiful. She looks great in a red dress. I think I'm in love with her." he paused to gauge Johnny's reaction. It was unchanged.

"Go on." Johnny offered. If he was upset, he wasn't showing it.

"I know she doesn't like me because sometimes she's mean to me but...sometimes when I'm around her? I feel like I want to kiss her and tell her that I love her. I dunno, I'm just confused."

To Denny's surprise, Johnny smiled. "Denny, don't worry about that. Lisa loves you too! As a person, as a human being. As a friend. You know, people don't need to say it. They can feel it."

Denny stumbled into one of the chairs. "What do you mean?"

Johnny sat down too. "You can love someone, deep inside your heart and there is nothing wrong with it."

Denny listened attentively. Johnny was leaning back in his chair, hands behind his head.

"If a lot people love each other," his words echoed with meaning, "the world would be a better place to live."

Denny shook his head. "But Lisa is your future wife!"

"Denny don't worry about it! You are part of our family, and we love you very much. And we'll help you anytime. And Lisa loves you too! As a friend. You are sort of like her son."

Denny stood in surprise. "You mean, you're not upset with me?"

"No, because I trust you and I trust Lisa." the irony of his words were lost on Denny.

"What about Elizabeth, huh?" Johnny asked.

Denny smiled sheepishly.

"Well...I love her."

Johnny nodded his head. "Um-hm"

"When I graduate from college, get a good job" Denny continued, "I want to marry her and have kids with her."

"That's the idea!" Johnny said, walking towards the boy.

"You're right."

Johnny came right up next to Denny, and Denny used the moment to thank Johnny once again.

"Thanks for paying my tuition."

Johnny put a fatherly-figure hand on Denny's shoulder and started walking him to the door.

"You're very welcome Denny and keep in mind. If you ever have any problems talk to me and I will help you!" he said.

Denny smiled again. "Awesome. Thanks Johnny!"

"Let's go eat huh?" Johnny said. "Come on, lets go!"

The father-figure and son-figure went for the door, laughing all the way.

Chapter 8

2010-07-01T10:36:00.000-07:00

The roof air flowed through Denny's hair as he dribbled his basketball in solitude. The rippled leather of the ball felt good to his fingers. He liked to come up here to think sometimes, especially when he was high. It felt right to be high up, literally, on the roof of the building, when his spirit was high off of drugs.

Speaking of drugs...

The door to the roof suddenly swung open, and just as quickly banged shut. A man in black tank top, black Addias pants and a black cap stood menacingly at the entrance. Denny knew him instantly. It was Chris R., the drug dealer he'd been buying from. And he knew why he was here too. Denny was late on a payment

Chris R. strode towards him. Denny grabbed the basketball and stared him straight in the eye. For a long time neither of them said anything. After a few moments, Chris. R spoke up first.

"Hi, Denny." he grumbled.

"Chris R. I've been looking for you!" Denny said, a smile stretched nervously across his face.

"Yeah, sure you have." Chris R. took a step forward and grabbed the basketball, snatching it from Denny's sweating hands. "You have my money right?"

"Yeah...it's coming. It'll be here in a few minutes." Denny fumbled. Of course, there was no money and even if there was, he wasn't sure how it would arrive within a few minutes. But Chris R. didn't know that. Or at least, Denny hoped he didn't.

Chris R. dropped the basketball and it dribbled away, each bounce a harbinger of Denny's oncoming doom. "What do you mean its coming Denny?" he leaned forward, his face inches from Denny's. "Where's. My. Money. Denny?"

"OK...just, just give me five minutes." Maybe if he could find Johnny and ask to borrow some money again... "Just give me five!"

Chris R. leaned back and pretended to consider it. But he'd waited long enough.

"Five minutes? You want five fucking minutes, Denny? You know what? I've got FIVE FUCKING MINUTES!" he ripped a gun from his pants, grabbed Denny by his neck and shoved him to the floor. He pushed the cold, hard steel of the pistol into Denny's shaggy hair. "I'm going to ask you again Denny. Where's my money?"

He tightened his grip on the boy's neck. Tears welled up and dripped from Denny's eyes. "I don't have anything!" he choked out.

"Where's my money Denny?" Chris are repeated, "WHERE'S MY FUCKING MONEY DENNY?"

Denny could only cry. Like a bitch.

"What did you do with my FUCKING MONEY DENNY?" Chris R. shouted.

"I swear to God its coming!" Denny pleaded. Chris R. jammed the gun into Denny's temple. "WHERE'S MY FUCKING MONEY DENNY?" he screamed again, over and over.

The door to the roof swung open and Johnny and Mark came flooding out, shock hitting them hard. They ran towards the confrontation, traversing the length of the roof within seconds. They grabbed at Chris R., pulling him off and away. Denny crawled back. Mark grabbed Chris R.'s gun and pointed it at the drug dealer, holding back his left arm while Johnny held his right. The man struggled, yelling, screaming at Denny. "You're fucking dead Denny!" he spat.

"Shut up!" Mark retorted.

"What's going on? Oh, somebody help!" It was Lisa screaming, her and her mother having randomly appeared at the door as well.

Mark and Johnny dragged the drug dealer towards the door while the women ran out to Denny.

"Lets get him to the police!" Johnny offered, and he and Mark disappeared back into the building. "You're fucking dead!" Chris R. yelled out as he sunk into the darkness.

Denny was leaning off the building, tears streaming down his boyish face when Lisa and Claudette reached him. Lisa took him by the shoulders and faced him towards her, shaking the creep frantically in her arms.

"Denny are you OK? What did that man want from you!?"

She pulled him away from the wall.

"Nothing!" he said.

"Oh,that was not nothing!" Claudette chimed in.

"Tell me everything!" Lisa was crying now. This boy was like a son to her.

"You have no idea what kind of trouble you're in here do you!" Claudette lectured.

"I owe him some money." Denny admitted.

Claudette started to say something but then stopped herself.

"What kind of money?"

"I owe him some money." Denny admitted.

"What kind of money?"

"Everything is OK! He's gone!"

"Everything is not OK! Denny, that is a dangerous man!" Claudette had seen too many people murdered by drug dealers in her life time to let her family (and that's what Denny was now, wether she liked it or not) be involved with them.

"Calm down! He's going to jail!"

"Denny! What kind of money! Just tell me!" Lisa was incredibly concerned as to the exact amount.

"What do you need money for?" Claudette began, but Lisa interrupted.
"Mom please! Denny is with me and Johnny!" she screeched.

"A man like that! With a gun! My God!"

If Denny wasn't crying from Chris R.'s attack, he was certainly crying from this barrage.

"Denny, look into my eyes and tell the truth. We're your friends." Lisa pleaded.

Denny took a deep breath.

"I bought some drugs off of him. Things got mixed up. I didn't mean for this to happen!

Claudette rolled her eyes in disbelief.

Lisa broke down into a solid stream of tears.

"Denny..." she choked out.

"I don't have them anymore!"

"What kind of drugs, Denny!" Lisa sobbed.

"It doesn't matter, I don't have them anymore!"

"It doesn't matter?" Claudette said, "How in the hell did you get involved with drugs!"

"Mom..." Lisa tried to interrupt, but Claudette continued.

"What? Were you giving them to him, selling them to him? Where did you meet that man?"

"WHAT KIND OF DRUGS DO YOU TAKE?" Lisa screamed at him.

"It's nothing like that!" Denny tried to explain but--

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!?" Lisa shook Denny violently in her frenzy.

"I just needed some money to pay off some stuff!" he lied quickly.

"How much do you have to give him?" Lisa pleaded.

"This is not the way you make money!" Claudette piped in.

"HOW MUCH!?"

Denny broke out into tears again. "Stop ganging up on me!"

"Well it is time somebody ganged up on you! A man like that! Where in the hell did you meet a man like that!"

"It doesn't matter!" Denny repeated for what felt like the one-hundreth time. This was an infuriatingly useless and repetitive conversation, and Denny was quickly wishing that Chris R. had just shot him in the head so that he wouldn't have had to endure it.

"It matters a great deal! A man holds a gun on you! You almost got killed and you expect me to forget that happened?"

Denny couldn't take this from her anymore.

"You're not my fucking mother!" he shot back.

"You listen to me boy!" she grabbed his sweater and yanked at him. Lisa hugged him, bringing his head to her chest and sobbing for her mother to stop, but Claudette couldn't be contained.

"Somebody better do something around here!" Claudette threw his hand down violently and stepped back. Lisa cradled Denny's head, stroking his oily hair as they wept together. "It's OK..." she whispered.

The door swung open again and Johnny and Mark returned. Chris R. wasn't with them so Denny could only assume they had managed to successfully get him to the police, explain what had happened and gotten him sent straight to jail in few minutes they had been talking.

"Are you okay, Denny?" Johnny asked urgently, holding Denny around the shoulders.

"I'm okay." he said.

"Are you okay?" Johnny repeated.

"I'm okay!"

"What's OK? He's taking drugs!" Claudette hissed.

Johnny held Denny's head to his chest, while Mark held Claudette back.

"Come on stop!" he commanded, "It was a mistake!"

"A mistake! That he takes drugs." Claudette threw up her hands and shook her head. No one was taking this seriously.

"Come on, let's go home." Johnny said.

Mark agreed. "Yeah, come on, it's clear!"

"What's clear?" Claudette wasn't even sure what that sentence meant in this context, "I am going to call the police!"

"Mom stop! It was Denny's mistake! Just stop!"

"Uh!" Claudette turned her head in disgust. Mark pushed her towards the exit.

"Let's go."

Johnny lifted his hand off of Denny's shoulder. "Why did you do this? You know better, right? Why?!"

"I'm sorry!" Denny whined.

"You know better Denny! You almost got killed!"

"I'm sorry." It was more genuine this time. Johnny could tell he meant it. "It won't happen again, I promise."
Johnny frowned, and pulled Denny's head once more to his chest.

"Denny, you know that Johnny is like your father. And we're your friends, we're going to help you." Lisa said, sounding very much a like mother herlsef.

Johnny pulled at Denny's hair and looked as though he was having an orgasm. And, in a way, he was. An orgasm of relief. Despite his parental objections, he was glad Denny was OK. And now that this was done, he would never bring it up in any way ever again. Johnny was going to make sure that this incident didn't affect anything in their lives and was totally forgotten by everyone involved.

"Lets go home." Johnny said.

He extended his arm over Lisa too, and the three of them went for the door.

And with that, the plot about Denny having drug problems, was gone.

Chapter 7

2010-06-29T16:43:00.001-07:00

Michelle and Mike crept sexily into Lisa and Johnny's apartment. Tip-toping, Michelle carried a book in case they were caught. 'Just doing homework!' they would say. A flimsy excuse, sure, but an excuse none the less. You don't sneak into a friends house to have sex without a back-up plan. Mike carried a box of chocolate.

"How much time do we have?" Michelle asked, her hand on Mike's muscular chest. He was short but beefy, his hair spiked. She was lean, thin. Together, they were electric.

"I dunno. Ummm...a couple of hours. At least." Mike assured. Michelle lay herself down on the couch, and Mike joined her.

"Well...let's have some fun." she purred.

Mike opened the box of chocolate, "Did you uh...know," he asked, playfully, "that chocolate is the symbol...of love."

Michelle giggled to herself. She knew of course. They'd known for months, that's why they always brought it on their lovemaking adventures. He grabbed a nugget and made for her opened mouth. Carefully, she bit down on it and held it between her teeth. Mike leaned in, their lips touched and they chewed in unison, the chocolate melting and swirling between their tongues. She grabbed at him with passion. The chocolate done, he smiled and nodded, reaching for another piece. This time he placed it on chest, just above her breasts, then quickly proceeded to lap it up, kissing her tenderly in the process.

"Yum!" she moaned in ecstasy
"It's delicious." he mumbled, his mouth filled with caramel. He reached back in to kiss her. She pushed him back gently.

"Arms up!" she commanded. Like a child waiting to get dressed, Mike shot his arms into the air. Michelle yanked off his sweater and tossed it aside, pushing his shirtless chest down onto the couch. He looked up at her with expecting puppy-dog brown eyes. Slowly, she reached for her own piece of chocolate, then dropped it on his salivating tongue. This time he held it between his teeth, and they repeated their earlier kiss. Brown was smeared over both of their mouths and chests.

Michelle turned their kiss into a downward motion and started heading toward Mike's crotch. Mike's face twitched and contorted with pleasure, eventually twisting into a huge, shit-eating grin. In fact, to an on looker it might have looked as though he was literally eating shit. But no, not today. He closed his eyes and let Michelle work her magic.

***

They had only just finished when an abrupt noise came from the door. It was Lisa and her mother, Claudette. The two had lost track of time in their chocolate fueled erotic escapade, and hadn't realized it was time for them to return home. Mike raced to pull on his sweater, and in his confusion put it on backwards, the tag facing out. The couple stood at attention.

Claudette jumped back, shocked. "Hello?" she called out, then turned to Lisa, "What are these characters doing here?"

Lisa giggled, but quickly caught on to the situation. "They like to come here to do their...homework." she said, a wink in her smile.

Good, Michelle thought, she remembered the cover story.

"What homework?" Claudette clearly wasn't buying it. Lisa put a reassuring hand on her mother. "Mom, this is Michelle's boyfriend, Mike." Mike put out his hand, but Claudette simply rolled her eyes and didn't budge. "Mike," Lisa groaned, "this is my...mother."

"It's a pleasure to meet you!" Mike offered.

Claudette sighed and shook her head. Mike took the opportunity to head for the door.

"Uh-huh." Michelle agreed, then followed after her boyfriend. And with that, Michelle and Mike were gone.

Claudette rolled her eyes again. She didn't understand the way her daughter lived her life, never would. She considered bringing up but thought best of it. She was too tired. Instead she simply went for the couch. When she sat she let out a sigh of relief.

"All that shopping wore me out!"

No sooner were the words out of her mouth then a boy she hadn't remember seeing strolled in through the front door. He had shaggy brown hair and looked like a lanky creep.

"Hi Lisa!" he said.

"Hey, Denny." Lisa greeted back. She turned to her mother and gestured. "Denny, this is my Mom! Mom, this is Denny." Denny smiled at her.

"How many people come in and out of this apartment every day!" she asked. It seemed to her that the room was a revolving door of useless, disconnected encounters with a random assortment of characters that were only loosely related to her daughter and her troubles. "This is worse than Grand Central Station!"

Denny simply shrugged, then shook his head, confused, at Lisa. "I just need to borrow some sugar."

"Help yourself, Denny." she offered.

"I also need a cup of flour and a half-a-stick of butter." Denny was making meth brownies with the drugs he had just bought, and the recipe on the internet listed those ingredients.

"Doesn't your home have a kitchen!" Claudette asked, as much out of confusion as out of annoyance at the young boy.

Denny held up his arms in defeat. "I'll...come back later." he turned at went straight out the door, which hadn't closed since he'd entered. And with that, Denny was gone.

Lisa walked towards her mother, shooting her a harsh look. Claudette replied with her customary roll of the eyes. Lisa sat on the couch beside her.

"Tell me," Claudette asked, "what does Denny do?"

Lisa had been waiting for someone to ask this very question for what seemed like an eternity. Any trace of her earlier resentment was erased as she geared up to tell the story. She launched straight into it.

"Johnny wanted to adopt Denny. It's really a tragedy how many kids out there don't have parents. When Denny turned eighteen, Johnny found him a little apartment here in this building and he's paying for it until he graduates from school." she paused, momentarily overwhelmed by the sincerity of Johnny's generosity. "Johnny really loves Denny, even though he doesn't say it much. He's like...a father figure to him. I told you Mom. Johnny is very caring about the people in his life. And he gave Denny his own set of keys to our place."

Claudette frowned. She couldn't put together how Lisa, even though she clearly thought Johnny to be a good man, was plotting against him.

"Please, don't hurt Johnny." she said firmly.

Lisa's beaming features darkened. She knew that her mother was right from a logical perspective.

"Now, if you don't love him, so be it. But you should tell him."

Mike came bursting into the room. Running and out of breath, he went straight for the couch.

"I uh...forgot my book." he grabbed the decoy book that Michelle had brought. But it was only that, a decoy. The thing he had really came back for was currently in Claudette's hands.

"What is this?" she said, spreading out his black underwear. Lisa giggled to herself.

"Oh, that's...that's nothing!" MIke said, quickly grabbing the undergarment and bolting out as fast as he had come in, shutting the door behind him.

The two women couldn't help but laugh to themselves.

"Homework?!" Claudette exclaimed sarcastically.

"Don't worry about." Lisa said through laughs.

Claudette put her hand on Lisa's wrist. "If I were a burglar, you would be my best friend."

"Look, I don't wanna talk about it." Lisa said with a dismissive smile.

"You know I worry about you!"

Claudette looked her daughter in the eyes. She didn't seem to get it.

"Oh, I have to go home."

"OK, Mom."

Claudette made a kiss and tapped Lisa on her nose, their little goodbye since Lisa was a little girl.

"Bye-bye."

And with that, Claudette was gone.

Lisa fell onto the couch, exasperated.
"Oh my god." she sighed to herself.
This whole thing was getting increasingly repetitive and difficult to continue through, she thought.

Chapter 6

2010-06-28T11:00:00.001-07:00

"So I'm organizing a party, for Johnny's birthday. Can you come?" Lisa was once again meeting with her mother, and this time she was trying to steer the subject away from her marital issues. At least for the time being, anyways.

"When is it?" Claudette replied with enthusiasm.

"Next Friday at six. It's a surprise."

"Oh!"

"You can bring somebody, if you want."

Claudette hadn't had a date in years. She simply didn't trust people. "Oh sure, I'll come. But I don't know if I'll bring anybody."

Her admission of loneliness reminded her of a recent incident.

"Oh! That jerk Harold. He wants me to give a share of my house!"

Lisa took a patient sip of coffee. Here we go again.

"That house belongs to me!" she whined, "He has no right! I'm not giving him a penny. Who does he think he is?"

Lisa rolled her eyes. It had been like this since she was a girl. Her mother always had some complaint, some issue with someone and the stories usually fell on her.

"He's your brother!" Lisa pointed out.

"He's always bugging me about my house! Fifteen years ago, we agreed, that house belongs to me. Now the value of the house is going up and he's seeing dollar signs!" Claudette leaned back with her coffee mug in hand. She took a deep breath. Now was the time to tell her. "Everything goes wrong at once. Nobody wants to help me, and I'm dying!"

Lisa shook her head. Classic Mom-exagerations.

"You're not dying mom."

Claudette swallowed another sip, then said matter-of-factly "I got the results of the test back. I definitely have breast cancer."

"Look, don't worry about it, everything will be fine!" Lisa comforted, but now it was Claudette's turn to roll her eyes. Lisa might not take this seriously, but then again, Lisa wasn't the one dying with breast cancer.

"They're curing lots of people every day." Lisa added casually.

"I'm sure I'll be all right." Claudette agreed, and then quickly changed topics. "Oh! I hear Edward is talking about me! He is a hateful man." She shivered even just talking about it, "I'm so glad I divorced him!"

"Look don't worry about it." Lisa repeated, "You just concentrate on getting well."

"Well at least you have a good man!"

Lisa abruptly put down her cup. "You're wrong!" Her voice was full of disdain. "Mom, he's not what you think he is. He didn't get his promotion."

Claudette scowled. No promotion? But the men at the bank said he would get it within three months!

Lisa continued. "And he got drunk last night. And he hit me." Those last words hit like breast cancer, but Claudette only had to think a moment to poke holes in the story.

"Johnny doesn't drink! What are you talking about?"

"He did last night. And I don't love him anymore."

Even if he had hit her, and even if she didn't love him anymore, it was Claudette's duty to remind her daughter that she was a woman, and that she could do very little on own.

"Johnny is your financial security. You can't afford to ignore this."

"Yeah, OK, Mom. Can't I just talk to you later?" she had had enough of this conversation. It was a bad idea bringing it up in the first place. She was going to do what she wanted to do, and that's it.

Claudette shrugged her shoulders , "You don't want to talk to me." she said with frustration.

"I just got done talking with a client and I have to get ready to meet him." She had just got off the phone talking with a man, and although he wasn't a client, she was getting ready to meet him. "Can I just talk to you later?"

Claudette gave up. "OK. I will see you later." she put down her coffee mug and went for the front door Before she left she made a little kiss and tapped Lisa on her nose. Even if sometimes they didn't get along, they were still mother and daughter. Lisa smiled. "Bye-bye!" She walked out and closed the door behind her.

And with that, Claudette was gone.

Chapter 5

2010-06-27T16:11:00.000-07:00

"Yeah, delivery." Lisa was on the phone with the Pizza Store. They say the fastest way to a man's heart is through his stomach, and this was most often true with Johnny. Certainly the fastest way to her heart was through her stomach, in that she enjoyed Johnny dry humping it.

"555-4828. Half Canadian bacon with pineapple, half artichoke with pesto and light on the cheese. Thanks." she hung up and placed the phone near their framed spoon pictures. This was Johnny's favorite pizza. It'd have to be, if her plan was to go...as planned.

No sooner had she turned around from the phone did a ringing come at the door. Johnny wasn't supposed to be home for a few minutes, who could it be?

"Who is it?" Lisa commanded.

"Denny!" came the cheery, if not creepy, reply.

She opened the door with a smile. He strolled in wearing a vomit-gray shirt, his boyish hair parted down the middle.

"Hi Denny, how are you doing?"

"I'm fine." he replied, holding open the door. "What's new?"

"Actually I'm really busy." she said, then realized she wasn't being much of a host and instantly added, "Do you want something to drink?"

Denny frowned.

"No thanks...I just want to talk to Johnny." he paused, looked Lisa up and down, then jumped back in faux-shock. "You look beautiful today! Can I kiss you!?" His smile radiated with perversion.

Lisa didn't know it of course, no one did, but Denny was high out of his mind. He had taken some drugs, hell, who was he kidding, a lot of drugs and couldn't help himself but to come on to Lisa. She was so beautiful.

"You are such a little brat!"

Denny shrugged. "I'm just kidding! I love you and Johnny."

"OK, OK. Johnny's going to be here any minute. You can wait if you want."

Denny had an appointment with a drug dealer, or he would have.

"Um, I got to go. You'll tell him I stopped by?"

Lisa nodded. "Of course I will."

Denny nodded too, then slithered back out the door, "Bye!"

"Bye, Denny."

And with that, Denny was gone.

***

Johnny pulled into the drive-way in his sedan. In between the flower store and his arrival home he had received some terrible news. He hoped the roses would help soften the blow.

He swung open the door. Lisa was on the couch, reading. She looked up as he entered and smiled, rushing towards him.

"Hi babe." he said, the flowers hidden behind his back, "These are for you." With pride smeared across his acid-burned face, he revealed the dozen red roses.

Lisa smiled a fake smile. She had tired of the roses years ago (it was one of the things that made Johnny so boring), but she kept on with the charade. At least for now.

"Thanks honey, they're beautiful!" she reached in and kissed him on his gravely cheek. He smiled.

"Did you get your promotion?"

Johnny's smile instantly vanished. This was the bad news.

"Nah." he said, and sat carefully on the couch.

Lisa grabbed a vase and inserted the flowers, sitting down on an adjacent couch. The sofa-seat was positioned directly in front of their television, entirely obscuring the view. Johnny preferred to read.
"You didn't get it, did you?" she asked delicately.

Johnny fumed.

"That son-of-a-bitch told me that I would get it within three months! I could have saved them bundles! They are crazy! I do not think I will ever get it! They betrayed me, they didn't keep their promise, they tricked me and I don't care anymore!"

If there was one thing that angered Johnny, it was betrayal.

"Did you tell them how much you'd save them?" Lisa asked.

"Of course! What do you have think! They have all ready put my ideas into practice! The bank saves money and they are using me and I am the fool."

"I still love you!" Lisa lied through her warming grin.

"You're the only one who does."

Lisa's warm face twisted into a sullen grimace, "At least you have friends. I didn't get any calls today."

Johnny listened thoughtfully.

"You're right, the computer buisness is too competitive."

Johnny simply stared. He was never one to say I told you so.

"Do you want me to order you a pizza?" Lisa asked.

"Whatever, I don't care."

"I all ready ordered a pizza!"

Johnny laughed, "Haha. You think about everything! Haha."

But Lisa could tell something was still bothering him. His laugh didn't carry with it the joy it usually did.

"What's the matter? You all right?"

Johnny sighed wordlessly.

"It's just a lousy promotion. You know what you need?"

Johnny looked up, expectingly.

"You need a drink." she finished.

"But I don't drink! You know that!" Johnny laughed. She must be joking. He had been sober for five years. Ever since what happened back in the home country.

Lisa smiled.

***

The pizza had arrived. So had the drinks. Despite Johnny's repeated denials, she knew she could get him to knock back a few, and here she was, two drinks of scotch in her hand, heading towards the couch where Johnny sat happily eating his half Canadian bacon with pineapple, half artichoke with pesto and light on the cheese pizza.

She put down one glass, then another, then poured straight up Vodka into both. Johnny watched her do it with a sense of detached worry.

Lisa grabbed her glass and handed Johnny his. He stared at it. Liquid death. The devil's seductive sauce. Could he do this? Could he go down this path again? After all that had happened last time...

"Don't worry about it. It's good for you." Lisa assured him.

Johnny put the drink down. "You must be crazy! I can't drink this!"

She put hers down too, than grabbed Johnny's and wrapped his hands back around it.

"If you'll love me, you'll drink this." she whispered seductively.

Well, he loved her. So what else could he do? He took a sip. He giggled as the golden fluid seared down his throat. "Hehe, you're right, it tastes good! Hehe."

"I know, I am right. Don't worry about those fuckers. You're a great man." Of course, this was a lie. Although Lisa did consider Johnny a great man, she also considered him a fucker. A boring fucker.

"Drink and let's have some fun!" she said, and clanked her glass to Johnny's. He smiled and shook his head, then downed another sip of the yellow poison.

***

Within minutes, they were both drunk and laughing. They stood together pounding down the shots, Johnny's tie wrapped drunkenly around Lisa's forehead. She fell onto a nearby couch and laughed as Johnny chugged. He finished his drink then carelessly dropped the glass, smashing it to pieces. They laughed.

Johnny grabbed at his hair. "You have nice legs, Lisa! Hahaha!"

You have nice pecs!" Lisa giggled.

"Hahahaha!" Johnny bellowed. "I'm tired, I'm wasted! I love you darling!"

Lisa grinned. "Come on, make love to me."

Johnny moaned tiredly. He was too drunk to say 'hi' to his 'doggy' tonight.

"Come on! You owe me one!" Lisa was referring to the fact that three days earlier she had masturbated him to the point of climax.

Johnny sighed and let Lisa pull him down onto the couch. She put his arm around her.

"I love you Lisa."

She laughed, "I love you, Johnny." Then tore open his shirt. "Haha!" Johnny chuckled. She pulled him close, and they began to devour each other's mouths. Johnny moaned softly.

They lit a bunch of candles. and spread rose pedals all over the bed. Johnny felt his throbbing, wrinkled sex grow in anticipation. She rubbed him with the rose, but dropped it as he kissed her.

He ripped off her dress, then grabbed the rose and picked off its peddles, one by one, dropping them gently over her body.

Lisa was very wet now.

He climbed on top of her, his penis sliding up and down her stomach.

"Oh...ohhh....OOHHHH" they both moaned.

He drove himself harder into her navel, his cock bouncing limply off her bulbous flab.

"YESSSS!!!!"

Johnny came all over his future wife's stomach. She looked down and smiled. That's how Lisa liked it...or at least, that's what she wanted him to think.

He rolled over and fell asleep at once.

Chapter 4

2010-06-26T19:20:00.000-07:00

Johnny pulled his white sedan into a park, directly in front of his favorite flower and gift store, Flowers & Gifts, it's neon 'open' sign glowing invitingly into the San Francisco day. Of course, for Johnny, flowers and gifts were often one and the same. He'd come here twice a week for the past five years, the entirety of his and Lisa's love affair, and he wasn't about to stop now. Johnny was nothing but kind to his girl.

He strode into the familiar gift store, flower pots and cheap pink greeting cards littered about. He locked onto the store keep whom he recognized instantly. Her hair styled in a short-lesbian cut, she wore a tan collared shirt and a stern expression.

"Hi" he greeted.

"Can I help you?" she replied, not looking up from her register.

Johnny strode past a woman browsing through cards and up to the counter.

"Yeah, can I have a dozen red roses please?"

The shop keep looked up.

"Oh hi Johnny, I didn't know it was you."

She rushed off to make his bouquet, and returned within seconds with his exact order.

This is why I come here so often! Johnny thought.

She handed him the flowers.

"Here you go!'

"That's me!"

"How much is it?"

"It'll be eighteen-dollars."

Johnny handed her a twenty.

"Here you go! Keep the change!"

He turned and pet the pug dog that was on the counter for some reason "Hi doggy!"

"You're my favorite customer." said the shop keep as Johnny exited the store.

"Thanks a lot! Bye!"

"Buh-bye!" she called back.

And with the flowers safely it tow, Johnny ran out to his car. excited to surprise Lisa with another gift.

Chapter 3

2010-06-19T08:21:00.000-07:00

As Mark rode the familiar streetcar to the apartment complex that was his, his best friend Johnny's and Denny's home alike, his mind was focused entirely on one thing. Lisa, the building's most beautiful and most sexy tenant. If she approached him again, as she had the other week, would he be able to resist? She was Johnny's future wife, and Johnny was his best friend. And yet...she was so beautiful.

Why are you even doing this? he thought on his way up to the door, What good can it lead to?

It was too late for second guessing. He had all ready rang the doorbell.

Lisa opened the door almost instantly. There she was. Beautiful blond hair bouncing off her tiny shoulders, her smile welcoming and yet erotic. She was wearing a very sexy black blouse and dress. He smiled back, his beard very handsome.

"Hi, how you doing?" he said.

"Fine. Come in." she grabbed on to his shoulder and gestured for the couch. She let her hand linger there far longer than it should under the company of friends. It felt warm. Good. Right. But this isn't right! Mark thought.

"Have a seat."

She pushed him down into a sofa-chair, rubbing his shoulders gently. Brushed her finger tips against his arms and up his back, gently massaging him as she went. She made her way up to his face, bringing her hand over his beard. It rustled with her touch.

Mark could all ready feel his other best friend throbbing with anticipation.

Lisa moved off, poured two drink. Bending over, just so as she did it. She turned around and handed mark a glass. Her fingers touched his, and the scraped together audibly.

Mark's cock was pulsating with want now, and he hated himself for it.

"Thank you." he said.

Lisa looked down at her blouse, began to unfasten it.

"It's hot in here." she sexyed. "Do you mind?"

"No." He certainly did not.

She threw away her covering and let it fall limply onto the floor. Only a skimpy black dress remained. Mark swallowed. Hard. Of course, it was not the only thing that was hard.

She fingered his arm gently. I wouldn't mind fingering her gently Mark thought to himself.

He looked up at her, embarrassed.

"I mean the candles, the music, the sexy dress. I mean, what's going on here?" he smiled. There weren't literally candles or music, and the dress itself wasn't all that sexy, but he was speaking rhetorically. He knew what was going on. It sometimes payed to play dumb.

Lisa smiled, then sat on his lap, creeping her way closer and closer to his crotch.

"I like you...very much...lover boy." she purred, stroking Mark's handsome and manly beard.

"What are you doing this for?" Mark asked, playfully.

"What's the matter? Don't you like me? I'm your girl."

Mark looked away in shame. After a moment, he took her hand and moved it away from his face. It didn't matter how much he wanted it. It was wrong. Johnny was, and always would be, his best friend.

"Johnny's my best friend. All right, you're going to be married next month. Come on."

Lisa put down her wine, then grabbed Mark's face and beard, moving in closer than before.

"Forget about Johnny. This is between you...and me."

She stroked his beard over and over, harder and mores sensual with every consecutive pat. She let her fingers stray slightly over his mouth.

Mark grabbed her hand again, pushed her away.

"I don't think so." he said, making his way up from the couch. "I...I'm leaving now."

She grabbed him by his face and started stroking again.

"Please don't leave. Please don't leave!" she pleaded. "I need you. I love you. I don't want to get married anymore. I don't love Johnny. I dream about you...I need you to make love to me." She reached in to kiss him...

Mark backed away, took her hands and held them together.
"I don't think so."
He was going to go up to his apartment, jerk his mini-Mark and forget this ever happened.
"Everything is going to be fine. I promise."

Lisa stood, taking his hands and pulling him up. She took them both and wrapped them around her face. Despite his refutes, Mark didn't resist. She moved in...and their lips met. They kissed. Passion rippling through their groins.

Lisa moved off, took Mark by the hand and led him towards the stairs.

Moments later they were kissing on the stairs, Lisa propped up on the steps and Mark advancing hard. She felt his hand move up her leg and thigh. She began to unbutton his shirt. They kissed. She kissed his beard.

"Oh." Mark moaned.

She gently pushed off his shirt. Sleeve by sleeve. She ran her hand up and down his muscular chest. Then they kissed on the stairs with his shirt off.

"Oh, Lisa." Mark groaned.

She felt down his back, putting her hand down the back of his jeans. She kissed his neck and he kissed hers.

Then they started to dry hump on the stairs. Hard. He came within seconds.

***

When they had finished, Lisa adjusted her dress and looked over at Mark. They held hands silently. He sighed.

"God. Why did you do this to me?" he said, shaking his head. Lisa looked down at him sadly. He couldn't believe this had happened. "Why! Johnny's my best friend!"

"Didn't you enjoy it?" Lisa asked in disbelief.

"That's not the point."

"I love you Mark."

Mark looked away from her. Sometimes she could be dense as shit.

"Look, you're very attractive. All right, you're beautiful! But we can't do this anymore! I can't hurt Johnny."

Lisa nodded.

"I know, he's your best friend."

Johnny was Mark's best friend.

"Hey," Mark said, squeezing her hand. "This'll be our secret."

She reached in and kissed with a passion she hadn't felt for Johnny in years.

Of course, it wouldn't be their secret for long.

Chapter 2

2010-06-16T02:54:00.000-07:00

Johnny awoke to the buzzing of his alarm the next morning. 6:28 it read. He usually set his alarm at random intervals to surprise him from day to day. He never understood people's tendency to set clocks at dull, boring times like 6:00 or 6:15 or 6:30. But then again, Johnny was no ordinary man.

He turned off the alarm and sat up slowly, still basking in the pleasures of the previous night. He grabbed one of the roses from their lovemaking session and smelt it. It still smelled like love. He placed it delicately beside Lisa's still resting, still beautiful body, then left to get dressed. His buttocks rippled and twisted in the morning breeze.

Moments later he was dressed for work; a sharp suit and tie. Before he left for the day, though, he always made sure to kiss Lisa, his future wife, goodbye. She was awake and lying on her stomach, clutching on to the rose, when he reached in to kiss her.

"Did you like last night?" he asked.

"Yes, I did."

Johnny laughed. "Hahaha."

Lisa looked into his dark eyes. "Can I get you anything?"

"Uhmm, umm." muttered Johnny, "I have to go now."

Lisa smiled. "OK.

"OK bye"

"Bye." Lisa said.

And with that, Johnny was gone.

***

Lisa spent the next part of the morning getting ready for a lunch date she had with her mother. The two were still close. Her mother could be controlling, sure, maybe even a little manipulative, but she was still a woman wise beyond her advanced age. Lisa knew that if there were ever a time when she needed her support for something that her mother would be there with open arms and some kind words.

Now was one of those times.

A knocking came at the door and Lisa answered immediately. Sure enough, it was her mother.

"Hi, Mom. How are you?"

The mother and daughter embraced. Claudette was old and a lady. She had gray hair.

"I'm fine." she grabbed Lisa's chin, "how are you?"

Lisa was unresponsive. Evasive.

"Hm? OK." , she grabbed Lisa by the shoulders and walked her into the house,

"Lets go the couch and we will sit down."

The two sat.

"Now...what's happening with you? Hm?"

"Nothing much. Do you want some coffee?"

Claudette ignored the small talk.

"What's wrong? Tell me."

"I'm not feeling good today..."

"Oh why not?"

Lisa went for it. "I don't love him anymore."

Without missing a beat, Claudette replied " Why don't you love him anymore? Tell me." She had been expecting this for a while.

"He's so...boring."

"Well you've known him for over five years! You're engaged! You said you loved him. He supports you. He provides for you, and darling you can't support yourself!"
Claudette knew more than most that, because she was a woman, Lisa could not do anything on her own.

Lisa grimaced.

"He's a wonderful man and he loves you very much." Claudette leaned in and patted Lisa on the legs, "And his position is very secure. And he told me he plans to buy you a house."

"That's why he's so boring!" Lisa retorted.

"Well what are you going to do?"

"I don't know...", Lisa smiled, bitchily, "I don't mind living with him."

"Well you can't do that! Have you talked to him about it?"

Lisa frowned. "No. I don't know what to do."

Claudette, however, did.

"Well, he's a wonderful person! And he's getting a promotion very soon. Now he bought you a car, he bought you a ring, clothes, whatever you wanted. Now you want to dump him! That's not right. I've always thought of him as my son in law!"

If there was one thing Claudette hated, it was change. If there was two things, it was change and women. Women couldn't accomplish anything on their own. Not without a man they couldn't.

"You should marry Johnny, he would be good for you!"

"I guess you're right about that." Lisa conceded.

"Well, of course I'm right. I know men. I wasn't born yesterday. I'm glad your listening to your mother! No body else listens to me!"

Lisa grinned. "You're probably right about that, Mom." Lisa, despite enjoying her mother's company, knew that most people hated her a lot.

"Well I'm glad you're listening to your mother."

She rose from her seat.

"Listen, I've got to go. But you remember what I told you, OK?"

Lisa said nothing.

"Hm, hm? Bye, bye now."

And with that, Claudette was gone.

Lisa shook her head. "Thanks Mom."

***

Moments later, Lisa was dialing her phone, sitting at a small table near an opened window, the breeze fluttering in across her skin. On the table lay two framed photos of spoons. Johnny was a huge fan of cutlery. Forks. Knives. Certain variety of chop sticks. Spoons, however, tickled his utensil fancy most of all. Framed photos of them littered the room. Add that to the reasons Johnny is so boring, Lisa thought as she listened to the dial tone.

"Hello." the voice on the other end was Mark's, Johnny's best friend. He was handsome, his face covered in a handsome beard. He wore handsome sunglasses and drove his car.

"Hey baby, how you doing?" Lisa purred.

"Oh, hey, how are you doing? Yeah, I'm very busy, what's going on?" Mark liked Lisa fine. In fact, he'd noticed in recent days that she was very beautiful and looked great in a red dress, but he was at work, making good money and that had to come first.

"I just finished talking to my Mom, she gave me this big lecture about Johnny."

"Look, we'll talk about it later, I told you I'm very busy." Mark was right in the middle of some important work-related driving, and couldn't afford the time this call was costing him.

"We'll talk about it now. Whenever you say 'we'll talk about it later', we never do. I can't wait till later. I want to talk, right now. You owe me one anyway." Lisa was referring to the fact that three days earlier she had masturbated him to the point of climax while Johnny was at work.

Mark recalled the incident fondly. "OK, all right, what do you want to talk about?"

"She's a stupid bitch. She wants to control my life. I'm not going to put up with that. I'm going to do what I want to do, and that's it."

She paused.

"What do you think I should do?"

"Well why do you ask me?" Mark said, choosing to ignore the complete contradiction in Lisa's statement, "You know you've been very happy with Johnny. What do you want me to say, I mean, you should enjoy your life!"

Silence from Lisa's end of the call.

"What's the problem?" Mark inquired.

"Maybe...you're right. Can I see you tomorrow?"

Mark didn't hesitate.
"OK, all right. How about noon?"

"I'll be waiting for you. Bye..." Lisa seduced.

"All right, see ya." Mark hung up the phone immediately. Back to work.

Lisa put the receiver down. She also had some work to do.
She had some candles, music and a sexy dress to buy for tomorrow at noon.

Chapter 1

2010-06-11T13:59:00.001-07:00

As Johnny boarded the street car, he couldn't help but think that San Francisco was a very beautiful city. One of the most beautiful cities he had ever seen. From the beautiful Golden Gate bridge, to all the beautiful buildings, to all the townhouses and all the beautiful streets with beautiful street cars like the one he was on right now. Yes, San Francisco was a beautiful city.

But not as beautiful as the woman he was going to see. Lisa was the woman he was going to see. And she was Johnny's future wife. Johnny himself was quite the looker, all of six feet of pure muscle, long black hair and the skin of an eroded marble statue. But Lisa...even he hardly deserved her. She was intensely beautiful. More than that though, he trusted her deeply, knowing that she could never betray him.

He had just come from the Dress Stop, where he had bought her a red dress. He imagined she would look beautiful in it, so he bought it for her right away. Anything for my girl, thought Johnny.

Finally, the street car pulled up to his apartment complex. All of his friends and family lived there. His future wife, Lisa. Denny. Mark, his best friend. Everyone. He approached the door, took a moment to compose himself, then entered.

Sure enough, Lisa, his future wife, was there waiting for him.

"Hi babe!" Johnny exclaimed, "I have something for you."

Lisa, his beautiful future wife, smiled and rose from the couch. Wow, Johnny thought, she really is beautiful. She was wearing a blue shirt and skirt. Sexy, thought Johnny.

"What is it?" she inquired sheepishly.

"Just a little something." Johnny grinned, hiding the package behind his back. After a brief struggle, he handed her the box. She opened it with haste, throwing the wrapping every which way, revealing the the radiant beauty of the red dress beneath.

"Johnny, it's beautiful. Thank you.", she looked it up and down, "can I try it on now?"

"Sure it's yours."

Lisa grabbed him by his tie and reached in for a quick kiss.

"You wait right here."

"Um." Johnny grunted.

"I'll try it on right now."

"Um-hum."

She left to go try on the dress right now.

Johnny sat on his couch.

And he waited.

* * *

Moments later, Lisa descended the spiral staircase that defined much of the room, the red dress clinging to her womanly curves. Johnny was floored. He had come to expect beauty from Lisa, his future wife, but this...

"Wow, you look so sexy Lisa." Johnny said.

Lisa did a quick spin, showing off the dress. And her body. Wow, Johnny thought, she looks so sexy.

"Isn't it fabulous!" she said.

"I would do anything for my girl!" Johnny said, his arms behind his head.

Denny, a boy in his late teens, swung open the door.

"Oh, hey guys!"

Johnny gestured over, "Oh, hey Denny."

Denny walked over to the main living area, looked Lisa up and down. He couldn't help but notice how sexy she looked in that red dress. He felt bad for thinking it, but he wouldn't mind kissing her and telling her that he loved her. But Lisa was who she was, and besides, he could never hurt Johnny.

"Wow, look at you!" Denny said.

Lisa smirked. "It's from Johnny."

"Anything for my princess!" Johnny said, then laughed. "Hahahaha".

"How much was it?" Denny inquired.

Lisa frowned. "Denny, don't ask a question like that."

Denny was confused by the statement. He was just curious how much Johnny had spent on the dress! Sometimes adults just didn't understand.

"Nice to see you Denny. I'm going to take a nap." Johnny said rising from his seat.

"Can I go upstairs too?" asked Denny.

Johnny simply laughed. "Hahahaha."

"Denny, I think I'm going to join him." Lisa said.

"Hahahahaha." Johnny laughed.

The two made their way up the stairs, leaving Denny alone. He produced an apple and took a bite. Now this, he thought, I wanna see. He too made his way the stairs.

When he got to their bed room, Johnny and Lisa were all ready throwing pillows at each other playfully, as they often did before lovemaking. Denny, without a second's hesitation, jumped in bed with them. Everyone laughed.

"No stop! Stop!" Denny laughed. He didn't really mean it of course. He wouldn't want to be anywhere but right here. Right now.

He rolled off the bed softly, smiling at the two older lovers.

"Denny...don't you have something else to do?" Johnny suggested gently.

"I just like to watch you guys."

Lisa sighed.

"Oh, Denny, Denny boy." she said, stroking his hair.

Denny smiled like a creep.

"Denny, two is great, but three's a crowd." Johnny said, and then laughed. "Haha."
Lisa nodded subtly in agreement.

"I get it," Denny said, "you guys want to be alone."

"That's the idea!" Johnny said. Lisa winked with her eyebrows.

Denny was hurt, hurt deep. All he had ever wanted was to be part of the family. In every way. But he wouldn't let his hurt show. Not here. He'd play it cool, like he always did.

"Fine." he said. "I have homework to do anyway."

Lisa and Johnny smiled at each other. Denny, reading the hints, arose and headed for the staircase.

"Bye lovebirds..." he said, creepily, as he left.

"Bye Denny." Johnny said.

"Bye Denny." Lisa also said.

They watched as he walked down the stairs.

Going.

Going.

Gone.

Lisa turned to Johnny. Led in, and kissed him tenderly. He kissed her back with an intensity that overwhelmed her loins. She pushed him down onto the bed and threw a pillow at him. Johnny laughed.

"Hahahaha."

Moments later they were dancing, Johnny twirling her around as he often did before sex.

"Oh Lisa, oh Lisa yes." he muttered.

Johnny couldn't explain why he felt this way about Lisa. But he knew that it would be a shame to live in this world without her.

She took off his tie and ran it through his hair, sexily.

There's nothing I wouldn't do for you, Johnny thought.

They lit a bunch of candles. and spread rose pedals all over the bed, but not before they threw some more pillows around and danced a bit more. Lisa unbuttoned Johnny's shirt as he held the remaining rose. He felt his throbbing, wrinkled sex grow in anticipation. She rubbed him with the rose, but dropped it as he kissed her.

I would climb through the highest of mountains for her, he thought to himself.

He ripped off her dress, then grabbed the rose and picked off its peddles, one by one, dropping them gently over her body.

Lisa was very wet now.

He climbed on top of her, his penis sliding up and down her stomach.

"Oh...ohhh....OOHHHH" they both moaned.

He drove himself harder into her navel, his cock bouncing limply off her bulbous flab.

"YESSSS!!!!"

Johnny came all over his future wife's stomach. She looked down and smiled. That's how Lisa liked it...or at least, that's what she wanted him to think.

He rolled over and fell asleep at once.

Lisa, rose pedals stuck to her back like semen stuck to a hooker, looked at Johnny. Disgust furrowed her brow. That's it?, she thought, That's all I get?. Once again, it was the same old show. Johnny on top, humping furiously into her stomach while rose pedals were thrown about everywhere. She wanted something more. Something...better.

And she knew exactly where to find it.